I laugh and stash my lunch in the fridge.
“I’m sure you’ll survive, but I’ll obviously bring the little critter to come visit. And you know I’ll be back to work after the baby’s born, although of course, it’ll be on an abbreviated schedule.”
Tanya nods, impressed.
“It’s amazing that you’re going to come back at all, Jess. I mean, you have school, work and soon a child, and you’re still going to take shifts here?”
I nod.
“Yeah, I like working because it makes me feel productive. Plus, my parents can’t wait to babysit. They’re so excited. Even more excited than me,” I add pointedly.
Tanya laughs. “I’ll bet. You said they’ve been wanting grandkids since the day you turned eighteen, right?”
I make a funny face.
“Maybe even earlier than that. Since they both retired early, they’re eager to have something to do, and while the pregnancy surprised us all, we’re very happy for it.”
With that, a feeling of peace and contentment descends on my shoulders because I’ve moved into Jethro’s condo permanently. My clothes hang in the closet next to his, and my toothbrush has taken up permanent residence on the ledge of his sink. Not only that, but we’re converting my old bedroom into a nursery, and I’ve already painted the walls a pale yellow color in anticipation of our son or daughter.
“Well, I still can’t believe you’re pregnant, and you look amazing,” Tanya smiles.
“Yeah, but I feel like a whale,” I reply with a rueful grin. “Ba-dump-a-dump, here I come!”
Tanya sighs.
“You are so lucky, girl, even if you’re getting bigger. There’s nothing wrong with big, and besides, you have an amazing man who appreciates your curves.” Then she squints at me. “Didn’t you say he was Mr. February in a firefighting calendar from his old job?”
I grin and nod.
“Yeah, and let me tell you, that photo was H-O-T. After he showed me the calendar, I practically ripped his clothes off. Oh my God, drool.”
Tanya sighs wistfully again.
“I need a Mr. February too. Or a Mr. March, Mr. April, or really any month of the year is fine with me.”
I giggle. “Well, I did hear rumors that Thunder Strike is going to put out its own calendar this year. I mean, it’s crazy that they didn’t before right? They’d sell so many copies, but I guess marketing never got its act together.”
Tanya giggles.
“Yeah, all the middle-aged ladies who come to the shows will go nuts, not to mention the elderly ones. They’ll go especially nuts.”
I nod happily.
“See? So you’ll get a chance at your own calendar model. There are sooo many hot guys in Vegas, so you’re really in the best possible position.”
Tanya looks excited at first, but then her face falls. “To be honest, it’s not that simple because girl, I talk a big game, but inside … well, let’s just say Thunder Strike dancers would never want me.”
I scrunch my nose with confusion.
“Why not though? You’re beautiful and funny and smart, so they’d be lucky to date you.”
Tanya looks down for a moment, biting her lip, but then points to a thin silver ring on her right finger. Slowly, she slips it off before sliding it onto her left ring finger.
I furrow my brow, confused. “Wait, are you engaged?”
Tanya shakes her head. “No, no. It’s just that I made a promise to my parents when I turned thirteen that I wouldn’t have sex until marriage, so actually, I’m still a virgin. But that’s the problem. What guy would want to be with a girl who won’t have sex with them?”
I stare at her.
“Are you serious? That’s a promise ring?”
Tanya bites her lip and looks down, fidgeting with the jewelry a bit.
“Yeah it is.”
But I’m still confused and fix her with a look.
“But Tan, you’re always talking about boys and the things you do with them. I mean, I thought you had sex with the last guy you went out with?”
She nods and bites her lip.
“Sort of. I mean, there are a lot of things you can do without going all the way, right? So I’ve done lots of blowies and handies, and there’s also this thing called the Mormon Dick Soak. I let guys do that a lot, although I don’t know if it makes the situation better or worse.”
I stare at her.
“The Mormon Dick Soak?”
She nods.
“I know, it sounds so terrible, but—"
At that moment, Jethro saunters in, his muscular body clad in nothing but a Speedo and my friend gets the message. Tanya winks and then gives a little flutter of her fingers.
“I’ll tell you later,” she whispers. “Bye now!”
With that, Tanya’s gone, leaving me and my boyfriend together in the break room.
“You know, the dancers aren’t supposed to be in here,” I say in a teasing voice. “They got banned because they kept stealing other people’s lunches from the fridge.”
Jethro kisses me. “Haha, very funny sweetheart. But I couldn’t resist coming to see my gorgeous, very pregnant girlfriend. How are you and the baby doing today? Are you sure you should still be working?”