I’d spent long enough running. It was time to face my past, no matter how much it might hurt.
My conversation with Harper was quick. I did my best to keep my voice natural and fibbed, explaining that Christian had managed to get some tickets to an event and we’d be in New York an extra day or two instead of coming back tonight like we’d originally planned. Harper said it was no problem and that Termite was welcome as long as she wanted to stay. I thanked her, then headed over to sit beside Max.
“I have to handle something in the city before we head back home. Is that okay with you?”
Max shrugged. She looked at her barely touched ice cream and got up to toss it in a nearby trash can. She dusted her hands off and sat, folding her arms. “Whatever.”
“Hey,” I said, touching her knee. She stiffened, eyes focused on her feet. I could see she was still on the verge of tears. I knew how much Christian’s words had hurt her. God did I know. I felt it inside myself, too. There was this well of emotion threatening to crack me the moment I let my guard down, but I needed to stay strong, at least a little longer. “We’re going to make this work, okay?”
“Adults suck,” she said. A tear slid down her cheek and she wiped it away, as if angry that she was crying. “You always promise everything and it’s always bullshit. What’s the point? You all just leave eventually.”
Her words hit me with an icy bite. I lowered my eyes, nodding. Something inside me solidified as we sat there in silence. This poor kid had been let down by everybody who was supposed to take care of her. I was lucky enough to have parents who cared about me, even if my father and I had our differences. But I thought about my attempts at romance. The men always let me down in the end, didn’t they? Except this time it wasn’t that Christian had screwed up. He just didn’t want to keep trying with me. Maybe he never really did.
I pushed all that down, because I could feel Max’s pain and I knew she needed me right now. I didn’t have time to feel sorry for myself.
One thing came to me as clear as crystal. I couldn’t stop the people I cared about from leaving or disappointing me. I couldn’t stop them from disappointing Max, either. But I could control myself. I could swear on everything that I’d never let her down. I put my arm around her and pulled her into my shoulder tightly. “I’m not going to promise I’ll ever be perfect. But I promise you this. I’m always going to be here for you if you need me. And I’ll still be here when you don’t anymore. Okay? Always,” I repeated, kissing the top of her head.
Max shook with a silent sob, then wrapped her arms around me and hugged me tightly.
I squeezed her back as the first tears from my own eyes started to fall freely. God. What the hell had I gotten myself into?
* * *
I knocked on Kate’s door and tried to calm my nerves. Max was behind me. She still wasn’t her normal self, but it felt like we had forged some kind of permanent connection on that park bench. I wasn’t sure if she felt it, but I thought she did. The world had let us down, but we’d agreed back there that we wouldn’t let each other down.
The door opened and Kate looked at me for three full seconds before her eyes went wide. “Lola?” she gasped.
She reached out and hugged me tight, pulled back, then slapped me hard on the cheek only to hug me again. “Holy shit,” she said, her words muffled because her face was pressed into my shirt. Kate was a full foot shorter than me. She had dark brown hair and she looked like she could’ve been an army drill sergeant in another life. There was a firmness to her features and posture that always intimidated people when they first met her, but after a few minutes it was clear Kate was a sweetheart. Still, if you crossed her she could be as scary as she looked.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I just–”
“Hey, shut up,” Kate said, pulling back again and looking to Max. “Who is this?”
Kate let us inside and made us all hot chocolate while I did my best to summarize everything from why I’d ran like a coward from New York to what happened in Colorado and then the whirlwind few days since we’d been back in the city.
By the time I finished, Kate was frowning deeply. “Okay,” she said with a deep breath. “First thing’s first. I forgive you. But also if you ever do that to me again, I will fucking kill you. Pardon my French, Lola’s adopted daughter.”