If things were going to end anyway, maybe now was the time.
“So we’re on the same page?” Perry asked carefully.
“Just tell me what the fuck you need me to do,” I said.
Perry nodded. “I’m going to need you to follow these instructions down to the letter. Do you understand?”
I sighed. “Yeah, I got it.”
38
LOLA
Max and I came back to the apartment around lunch time. Christian had given us some money earlier to get Max back-to-school clothes.
We found Christian brooding at the kitchen table when we returned. I slowly lowered the shopping bags we’d accumulated. We had gone way over the few hundred dollars Christian gave Max because I was apparently a sucker for excited teen girls who weren’t used to getting spoiled. I had my beefy twenty-thousand-dollar bonus sitting around in my bank account, and I figured I might as well use it to make Max smile.
But the look on Christian’s face wiped the amusement from mine. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing is wrong,” he said. His tone was flat. “We need to talk. In private.”
Max screwed up her face. “Gross.” She headed off to her room and closed the door.
Christian took a deep breath. “We’ve both had our fun, but we knew this wasn’t going to last forever. It’s time we broke things off.”
“What?” I was surprised by how much force those words hit me with. It felt like someone had punched me straight in the gut. “What did I do wrong?”
“We both knew this wasn’t real,” he said. “It was a little fun, some good sex, but nothing real.”
“What are you saying?” The words came out of me in a whisper. It was all I could manage with my spinning thoughts.
“I’m saying it’s over, Lola. And I hope we can be adults about this at the office. You’re a good executive assistant, and I’d like to keep you on.”
All I could do was stare at him. I felt myself searching for some sign, no matter how small, that this was a joke or that he didn’t mean what he was saying. I’d felt like there was something real between us. So real it hurt. Was I really that stupid? Had I just imagined everything?
“What about Max?” My voice sounded quiet and far off. I thought I should be crying or yelling, but all I felt was numb. It was like I was hovering a few feet behind myself, watching this all unfold as an observer and not a participant.
“I’m going to find someone else to look after her. I’m not cut out to be a babysitter, and–”
Max’s door burst open. There were tears in her eyes and her cheeks were flushed red. “Really?” She asked through a voice thick with emotion. “Fucking really?”
“Max…” Christian said. I finally saw a touch of pain on his face that cut through the coldness. “You’re not happy living with me. Why pretend?”
“So you just get to decide what happens with everybody else’s life?” Max asked. “Because you know best? Is that it?”
“I do,” Christian said, jaw ticking. “I’m going to find you someone who–”
Max stormed past him, hands balled into fists at her side. She looked up at me with watery eyes. “Can I stay with you for a while?”
“Of course,” I said.
I expected Christian to argue or jump in, but he just stood there, jaw clenching and unclenching as he watched us.
“Well, is that all?” I asked. “Or did you want to solidify your status as the biggest asshole on the planet any more firmly before we walk out of here?”
“That’s all,” he said.
I thought about grabbing my things, but everything I had scattered around the apartment was replaceable like toothpaste, makeup, and some dirty clothes scattered around his bedroom. Everything else was in my bag, which I grabbed before motioning for Max to follow me.
I slammed the door on Christian and it felt like I was closing the door to some bright, warm future I’d just begun to imagine. Once that door closed, I felt as cold as Christian had sounded. I almost shivered, but I put my arm around Max and led her toward the exit. I needed to hold it together, if not for myself, then for her.
39
LOLA
Max was eating an icecream with a dejected look on her face on a park bench a few yards off. I glanced her way, then dialed Harper back in Fairhope. She’d been nice enough to let Termite stay at their place while I was gone, and I needed to tell her I might be a little longer. The idea of going back to Fairhope right now was too much to handle. Fairhope had been my escape from the flames, but now my life there felt like it was a raging inferno, too. I didn’t have it in me to start over again, so I thought I should start by finally putting out the flames here in Manhattan.