But Christian wasn’t teasing me this time. He wanted me to come, and he wanted me to come fast.
He increased his pace, lapping me up like I was the most delicious thing on the planet until I couldn’t help from grinding myself into his face. He groaned against me, sending a rumble of vibrations through my most sensitive places and pushing me over the edge.
I gasped, grasping his head with both hands and rubbing myself into his face as he drove his tongue into me, finger still circling. My whole body shook and went tense with my climax. Once it finally passed, I felt like a warm pile of goo.
He lowered me down, setting me on the ground so the shower water splashed across my chest and sent little tickling drips of water against my eyes and face.
“Jesus,” I gasped, chest still rising and falling rapidly.
“Yeah,” he agreed, leaning over me and kissing me deeply. “Did we ever really think this could just stay casual?”
“For like ten seconds, yeah,” I laughed.
He smiled. He was idly running his fingertip down the center of my chest toward my belly button, watching the trail of water follow its path in fascination.
“Do you think this can really work?” I asked after a few moments of silence.
“Us?” he asked.
“Yeah. I mean, that Bellamo guy is going to screw you if you’re still with me and watching Max in a month, right? Wouldn’t it be better if you could cut us both loose and try to claim he was making it all up?”
“I don’t know,” Christian said, lowering his eyes. His palm was resting on my stomach now. “But the more time I spend with you, the more I think I’m going to do something stupid to make sure I don’t have to give you up.”
I bit my lip. “Yeah,” was all I could say. I felt the same. I felt it worse, even. Being with Christian felt too damn good to ever imagine letting it go. But I had to be ready, didn’t I? I knew him well enough to know how much his company meant to him. If cutting things off with me was the only way to save his company, I didn’t want to be in the way. I didn’t want to have him if it meant he had to give everything up to have me. So I had to try to guard my heart. Somehow. I had to find a way to make sure I didn’t go all the way over the edge.
But what if I was already there?
37
CHRISTIAN
It was our third day in Manhattan, and part of me wished this little trip never had to end. I’d taken Lola to a Broadway show, two museums, an art gallery, and we’d toured a butterfly farm with Max. I took her to my favorite restaurants and we brought dinners back for Max, who was more than happy to be lazy at the apartment.
Little by little, it was like my grip on life was relaxing. Without realizing, I’d been squeezing the shit out of myself until I could hardly breathe. Lola was teaching me what it felt like to let go and enjoy the moment. Even if I suspected this wasn’t going to last, I resolved to enjoy the hell out of it while I could–especially the fact that I got to take her into my bed every night and keep her up late.
I grinned when I rolled over to find Lola sleeping beside me in a pile of messy, tangled hair. Her mouth was hanging open and drool glistened at the corner. She had one leg thrown over the edge of the bed and an arm draped over her forehead. It looked like an explosion had sent her flying and she’d just landed in a heap on my bed.
I leaned in slowly to kiss her forehead. She sucked in a surprised breath through her nose, snorting and rolling over to begin an impressive string of snores.
Grinning, I left her there in the bed while I headed out to a bagel shop a few blocks away. I didn’t know what flavors Max or Lola would like, so I picked up a few of each flavor, along with coffees for all of us. I’d made a routine of sneaking out to get the girls breakfast first-thing in the mornings. It felt good to know I was coming home to some kind of life at my place. It felt normal. Healthy, even. It was a stark change from my years spent always returning to empty, cold homes that felt more like sleeping quarters. For the first time in as long as I could remember, there was something just a little like joy to look forward to. Smiles, laughter, and the soft warmth of Lola’s skin to welcome me when I came home.