I previously told him I could be rough. That hadn’t been a lie, but interestingly enough, I didn’t feel that same urge with Rett. At least, not yet.
He said he could take it and I’d keep that in mind for the future. But tonight wasn’t only about sweaty skin slapping together until we both reached release. Tonight was about strengthening the connection between us. Developing an—what I hoped—unbreakable bond.
Establishing a relationship and an even more solid friendship.
Maybe that was why Thomas’s loss hit me so hard. He had not only been my husband, the man I loved and cherished, he’d been my best friend. A mirror to my soul. I could tell him anything. And I had.
Rett had stepped up, more than willing to provide that necessary outlet for me. Someone who wasn’t afraid to tell me when I was being an ass or when I was wrong.
He had no fear of hurting my feelings. He told me the truth, no matter how much it might cause a sharp blow.
I valued his honesty and his outlook.
I valued him.
It only took me a while to see it clearly and now that I had…
We had arrived here. To this very spot and this very moment in time.
Yes, what we were about to do could be considered merely sex, but we both knew tonight would be much more than that.
Another step forward. For me. For us.
Another stitch to close the gaping wound left behind after Thomas’s unexpected death.
The pain was no longer as sharp. The hurt not so deep.
According to the website Rett sent me on the stages of grief, I finally moved into the acceptance stage.
Speaking of acceptance…
Rett was practically swallowing my cock whole. A few times I had bumped the back of his throat, but that didn’t stop him. He continued to suck me deep and hard, causing my fingers to flex in his hair to the same rhythm of his mouth.
He squeezed the base using one hand and tugged my balls gently with the other as his mouth moved up and down my harder than hell cock.
I got lost in the squeezing, tugging, licking and sucking.
When my legs could no longer hold my weight, when my knees started to fold, when I was having a tough time thinking about my next chapter, the new puppy, where Rett and I went from here, anything and everything to prevent me from coming down his throat…
I groaned, “Rett.” I was at my limit.
It had been so long…
Weeks since I last fucked Rett and before that a couple of years. My tolerance was low. My patience was even lower.
It didn’t help that Rett was highly skilled. I was surprised I lasted this long.
I twisted my fingers in his short hair as best as I could and tugged on it, indicating he should release me and get up since I was teetering dangerously close.
“I don’t want to come in your mouth.” I shook my head after I realized what I said. “I mean, I do. Just not right now.”
My pulsing cock glistened when it slipped from between his lips. His lips were shiny, too.
“Get up.” I grabbed him behind the elbows and encouraged him to his feet, before I was tempted to say, “Screw it” and finish in his mouth.
If I did that I knew I’d regret it afterward. I wanted to be inside him in a connection much deeper than simply getting a blowjob.
Between the heat in his eyes, the swell of his mouth, the slight color in his cheeks…
My head spun with how much I wanted this man.
Really wanted this man.
And he had waited.
He waited for me to catch up. Without one damn complaint, too.
He climbed into my bed almost every night, knowing that the only physical touch he was getting from me would be us spooning or simply holding hands. Or him propping his head in my lap while we watched movies or shows on the flatscreen in my bedroom.
In all that time, we did not kiss. We did not play or tease. Even once we settled to go to sleep at night, the extent of our physical connection was him spooning me or him resting his head on my chest.
He waited when he didn’t have to.
He waited when he most likely didn’t want to.
He waited. For me. For this.
His wait was over.
I would give him what he wanted and take what I needed.
If he needed more than that, I would do everything in my power to give it to him. Even if that meant flaying myself open and offering him my heart and soul.
He deserved that along with my gratitude.
“What’s the matter?”
I focused on Rett’s frowning face. “Absolutely nothing.”
“Chase…”
I didn’t like the look in his eyes. The mix of growing doubt and disappointment.
“You’re just standing there. Are you having second thoughts?”
He was misreading my hesitation. “Absolutely not. I know exactly what I want.” I grabbed his hand and yanked him toward the bed. “You.”