While the water warmed, he stripped me of my clothes since my fingers were stiff and shaking so badly, it seemed impossible for me to unlace and pull off my boots. Even for him, it was a struggle to peel off my wet jeans.
Once I was naked, he pulled the shower curtain aside and nudged me under the spray. The hot water running over my hair, down my face and over the rest of my body began to bring me back to reality.
Especially after Rett shoved the curtain aside again and, now naked himself, squeezed in. My brain had to be mush since I didn’t consider how he’d been fully clothed in the chilly water, too, even if it hadn’t been as long.
The shower stall was only big enough for one person, so Rett had to wedge himself behind me. Pressing himself to my back, he wrapped both arms around me and planted his hands on my chest, letting the water run over us both, warming us. A simple act of comfort not sexual in any way.
Closing my eyes, I relished the touch of his skin against mine, the press of his body, the way he securely held me. Between breathing in the steam, his body heat, and the warm shower water, I quickly came back to life. It wasn’t long before the shivers stopped, my teeth no longer chattered and my muscles loosened.
During all that, not one word was exchanged, not one expectation required. I simply basked in his silent support and understanding.
Eventually the spray of water stopped and the slide of the shower curtain made me open my eyes. With a gentle nudge, he urged me to step out.
I reached for the towel hanging on the rack, but Rett grabbed it first, rubbing it over my skin, warming me up even further.
Making me almost feel human again.
And that scared me.
I was afraid the wall I had constructed around me was the only thing left holding me in one piece and if I lowered it…
If I lowered it, there might not be anything left for Rett to save.
Because it was clear… That was what he was trying to do.
I still couldn’t fathom why.
Once I was dry, he pulled another towel off the stack in the narrow doorless closet and dried himself off quickly, strategically using his broad body to block me from exiting until he was done.
Obviously, he wanted to keep me in view.
“Timber?” came out of me on a croak. Between my screams and the dirty lake water, my throat would be paying for a while.
“You like my dog more than me.”
From what I knew of the man, I could imagine him saying something similar if he was teasing. Today those words were tinged with hurt and maybe a little sadness.
I caused that.
Me.
Rett still believed I didn’t like him. But then, not once had I given him a reason to think otherwise.
Despite my reluctance and my fear of letting someone get close to me, I needed to fix that. But I wasn’t sure if I could.
Truthfully, I shouldn’t encourage him on his current path of trying to help me. In the end, it might end up hurting him worse than I already had. I wanted to prevent him from slicing himself on one of my jagged shards.
He deserved much better than someone like me. Someone wearing his tragic past like a cloak. And instead of shedding it, I only pulled it more securely around me and wore it like a shield.
Unfortunately, that shield didn’t protect me. Not one bit. If nothing else, it was destroying me from the inside out.
I stared at the pile of wet clothes on the bathroom floor. His and my clothes combined. Surrounded by a puddle that reminded me of the lake he pulled me from.
Rett saved me when I would’ve let myself drown.
I turned my eyes to him. “Where’s Timber?” I asked again.
I don’t know why I cared, maybe it was only a distraction from what I had done. From Rett saving me. From life in general.
“If you listen carefully enough, you can hear him outside whining on the porch, waiting to be let inside.”
“Where was he?”
Rett shrugged one bare shoulder. “As soon as I got here, he chased a squirrel into the woods.”
“You weren’t worried about him running off?”
His lips curved into a half-crooked smile. “No. Usually after a little bit he remembers who loves him, takes care of him and where he belongs. He doesn’t go far.”
“He’s loyal to you.”
“Yes.” Rett tilted his head as he looked at me. “And now to you, too.”
“I’m not anything to him.”
“You are more to him than you realize.”
“That doesn’t make any sense.”
“As you well know, Chase, sometimes life doesn’t make sense. But you deal with it in the best way you can because you have no other choice.”