He lifted both brows. “It only took me repeating that a half dozen times to yank you back from wherever you disappeared. Welcome back.”
Timber was now leaning all of his weight into my leg and crushing my foot while Rett still held the envelope up in the air.
I snagged the manuscript and pens from his fingers. “Do you expect for me to need a dozen red pens for this?” I shook the envelope.
“From the little I’ve gotten to know of you, yes. You’ll probably use more than twelve, if it’s warranted or not.”
Even though he was half-teasing, the other half was serious.
“Am I that awful?” I already knew his answer.
“Yes.”
“Then why are you here?”
His expression turned one hundred percent serious when he said, “Because I have a feeling you weren’t so awful before…”
Before I lost Thomas.
He was right.
Between the two of us, Thomas had been the dark and I had been the light in our relationship and in our lives. Definitely a yin and yang situation.
Now… My light had been snuffed out.
I saw a flicker in the distance, I just couldn’t reach out and grab it. When I tried, it slipped through my fingers every damn time.
A whine at my feet made me glance down. Someone wanted attention. Just like his owner.
Would it hurt to have a friend? Someone who understood the ins and outs of writing and the publishing business? Someone who understood what it was like to be gay?
Someone who understood what it was like to be alone?
Though, Rett wasn’t quite alone, he had Timber.
And the residents of Eagle’s Landing.
I didn’t even let myself have that.
Staring at Timber’s head, I murmured, “The time before feels like a lifetime ago.”
“But you were different.”
I raised my gaze from the dog to his owner. Pressing my lips together, I swallowed down the lump that had risen into my throat. “I will never be the same.”
I closed my eyes and regretted those words the second they slipped past my lips. This man had been trying to break down my walls from the second I met him. I was afraid he might be succeeding.
Apparently, persistence paid off. Rett was proof of that.
Damn it. My goal to hide any vulnerability from him was now busted.
“You okay?” His hand landed on my arm.
I’m never okay. I cleared my throat and opened my eyes.
Little bursts of lightning spread from where his fingers held me. It reminded me of when I was a boy and shuffled around the carpet in my socks, then touched an object to get that little zap. I considered it a thrill at the time and, even though I knew what would happen, it still made me jump, then burst out in squeals of laughter.
Today I wasn’t laughing.
And the look of concern on Rett’s face was gone. He stared at where he touched me but didn’t remove his hand. In fact, it tightened.
Then his thumb made a quick back and forth movement.
A caress? Was that what he was doing?
I yanked my arm from his grip, pulled my foot from under Timber’s weight and took a step back so I could breathe. “What are you doing?”
“Making sure you’re all right. You went ghost white. I was worried—”
“Bullshit,” I growled, trying to rein in my spinning emotions.
I took another step back and lifted the manuscript. “I’ll take a look at this when I get a chance.”
I was trying not to panic over whatever Rett was pulling from me every time we touched. But I was beginning to reel from it and was worried if I let loose, I’d be flung so hard that whatever I collided with would smash me into a thousand pieces.
I couldn’t let that happen.
I needed space.
Time.
And to be alone.
I avoided looking at him as I made a wide berth and strode over to the rear porch with a quickness. I’m sure it appeared as if I was being chased by a monster.
Because it was true. I was.
And I needed to escape.
“Chase, wait!”
“No,” I shouted, not caring what he thought. Not caring if I was rude.
The only problem was, I’d been so lost in my head and didn’t realize he’d been on my heels.
Before I could close the door behind me and shut him out, he was there. In my doorway, in my cabin. Forcing his way into my life.
He needed to leave. And I needed to avoid contact with him. If I ignored our reaction to each other, it might go away. He might go away.
“Rett—” I couldn’t look at him. I didn’t want to see what was in his eyes or what was on his face.
“Are you pretending you didn’t feel that?”
Yes, of course I am! “I’m not pretending anything. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Bullshit,” he echoed. “I felt it. You did, too. Like at the store and the other day in your bedroom. You can deny it all you want but it’s there.”