“I’m personally still trying to process that the Horn Buck stole contained information on the cartel’s associates,” I cut in before the conversation devolved into a full-on love-fest. “No, wait, lemme back up a step. I’m still trying to process that a drug cartel was conducting business through Horn of Glory in the first damn place.”
Jordan snorted. “You sound so outraged, Huxley. How daaare they use your precious game to launder money?”
The others laughed. I didn’t.
“Frankly, yes.” I folded my arms over my chest. “I mean, is nothing sacred to these fuckers?”
“Clearly not,” Champ growled. “Since two days ago my ex-boyfriend attempted to use the love of my life as a human shield so he could steal back a device he believed was the cartel’s Horn.”
Everyone stopped joking and went quiet immediately, squirming guiltily.
Clearly, Champ was still enraged that his ex, a DEA agent named Vince Parler, hadn’t been trying to get his hands on the cartel’s Horn because he wanted a big promotion and a corner office in DC as we’d originally thought, but because he was working for the Cartel de la Luna. And I knew that what really pissed Champ off was that his sweet, sassy Quinn had ended up in serious danger during the course of our operation.
Even knowing that the wedding we’d staged had worked—that Vince had fallen for the bait and had stolen a decoy Horn full of practically impossible-to-decrypt data that would keep his cartel bosses busy and off our backs—hadn’t calmed Champ one iota.
And I couldn’t blame Champ for any of that.
“The question is,” he went on, leaning forward slightly, “what are we going to do with the information on the cartel’s Horn now that we know Vince was involved? The only reason we didn’t let the government handle the investigation from the moment we realized what Buck had stolen was because our client was involved—”
“And HOG Corporate’s stock would tank the second the media ran a story about a connection between a drug cartel and the biggest gaming sensation in a decade,” Elvo concluded. “HOG’s competitors would have a field day with it, and we’d almost definitely lose our client.”
“Correct.” Champ massaged the spot between his eyes, like hearing it all laid out was overwhelming. “None of that’s changed, but it’s a secondary concern now. We have evidence in our possession that could help take down Cartel de la Luna, and we know that a DEA agent has been compromised.” He dropped his hand and gazed around at each of us. “We initially planned to pass the data on the Horn to the DEA while keeping Horn of Glory out of the story. I don’t know how we could possibly do that now, which makes things… complicated.”
“A clusterfuck, you mean,” Jordan sighed, tilting their head back to the ceiling.
We all exchanged uneasy glances… and then my phone buzzed with a text.
KevTheAnnoyingOrcHoarder: Your rabbit is in my lair again.
Seriously? It figured that when the asshole actually contacted me, it would not be to apologize for embarrassing me in front of my boss earlier, or to make amends for spying on me in my kitchen-lair yesterday, or even to give me actual pertinent information about my supposed system vulnerability, which my scans still hadn’t fucking identified, it was to tell me he’d kidnapped Rodrigo.
Like a fucking stalker.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before tapping out a response.
Me: I was very careful to latch his door after the last time, and Rodrigo lacks opposable thumbs. If my rabbit is in your lair, it’s because you opened the damned cage door to let him out, convinced him to follow you down there with treats, and then opened your biometric locks.
Me: If you harm him, I will go full Liam Neeson on you.
KevTheAnnoyingOrcHoarder: Oh, fuck off. You have ZERO room to talk after what you did to my kelp forest!! I have been relocating angry refugee mermen all afternoon.
KevTheAnnoyingOrcHoarder: Besides, I would NEVER hurt Rodrigo. In fact, I rescued him. I heard him crying in there. Pretty sure it sounded like, “Help, I’m owned and ignored by the worst HOG player in gaming history.” Sorry, Hux. My hands were tied. I’m not a monster.
Me: I don’t ignore him and you know it! That’s why I brought him out here. That’s why I agreed to let you give him a bedroom, so I could continue his regular nap routine even while I’m working.
Rodrigo’s bedroom here was bigger than my own room back at my apartment, but whatever. Rodrigo enjoyed the peace, and Kev had space to spare.
KevTheAnnoyingOrcHoarder: Oh, right! I forgot about The Bunny Song! Fortunately, I have a video I can call up whenever I need reminding.
KevTheAnnoyingOrcHoarder: In fact, maybe THE WHOLE INTERNET needs reminding.
I gritted my teeth and tried not to remember the time two nights ago when I’d accidentally left Rodrigo’s bedroom door open and Kev had witnessed me carrying him around like a baby, singing to him about what a good bun he was and how much I loved him, before putting him down for a nap.