I sucked in a breath and stuck my feet into the PJs. “May I call you Daddy also?”
“Oh, I’ll fucking insist.” He made my breath stutter. After he’d pulled up my bottoms, he yanked me close and gathered me on his lap. “We’re going to talk till your ears bleed, and we’re going to flesh out every bit of your relationship with that goddamn scumbag. We’ll be mindful of the scars he’s given you. But if you want to enter a Daddy/Little dynamic with me, I’m ready to jump right in because I can’t for the life of me stay away—or get you out of my mind.”
My eyes prickled uncomfortably, and I wanted to cry with happiness. My body needed it. But no tears filled my eyes, and all I could do was throw my arms around him. Thank you, thank you, thank you. It hurt not to be able to react physically the way my emotions demanded.
“I want that so much,” I whispered. “And I want us to be more one day.”
He squeezed me tightly and kissed the side of my head. “We’ll save the future for another day, sweetheart. If we’re lucky, if we work hard—Christ, I hope so too. But we shouldn’t put that pressure on ourselves right now. Does that make sense?”
It did, unfortunately. I knew with every fiber of my being that I was ready for a kinky arrangement, but he was right. Kink was one thing. Love was a whole other, and I would need a lot of healing from my epic failure with Marcus.
“We talked about you on the way home,” he murmured. “Archer told me what he’d said to you—that you’re worth it. No matter what the future looks like, making the most of our present is worth it, because it’s you. And you’ve wormed your way under my skin so quickly.”
I screwed my eyes shut as they stung, and I clung to him a little harder. “I promise to be open about all my thoughts and insecurities. I can’t stop thinking about you either, even when I’m having nightmares about the fire and Marcus and, and…ugh.”
“It’s a lot right now—I know, sweetheart. But we’ll get through this together, and then we’ll see who we are when we resurface.”
A good way of putting it.
I nodded and let out a long breath.
He kissed my hair again, then nudged me back to rest our foreheads together.
Gosh, he was so stunning. His eyes almost held me captive.
“I want you to close your eyes and say Daddy,” he whispered. “And tell me who you see in your mind.”
But oh, what if I saw…him? Marcus.
“I don’t want to see him.” The thought knocked a ball of unease into my stomach.
“It’s a process, Corey.” His tone radiated patience, putting some of my worries at ease. “You were with him for a long time. It would be very strange if you didn’t associate that term with Marcus. But remember what Greer said about conditioning?”
I nodded and swallowed hard.
“We’re not going to let Marcus ruin that label for us,” he told me quietly. “From now on, every Sir will be Daddy instead. And you’ll use the term until you only see me.” He kissed my nose. “Then you’ll keep using it.”
I grinned, feeling downright giddy. Joy bubbled up in my belly and burst the bad feelings.
“Yes, Daddy,” I whispered.
Fragments of memories of Marcus flashed through my mind, but I kept my stare fixed on Sloan, and I saw him too. I wanted every “I’m sorry, Daddy” I’d said to Marcus to be wiped from my memory. So many times, I’d thought I’d been bad. So many times, I’d said Daddy with a crippling amount of guilt and shame. And confusion. So much confusion, because I hadn’t been able to make sense of his reasoning, and I’d kept my mouth shut to keep from making it worse.
“One more before we go,” he whispered back.
I smiled shyly and felt a little squirmy on his lap. “You’re my Daddy now.” Marcus popped up again, with his ever-present look of disappointment, so I framed Sloan’s face with my hands and stared deep into his eyes. “It’s you I want, Daddy.”
“Fuck, that sounds good,” he exhaled. “We’re gonna have a lot of fun together, aren’t we?”
I nodded and beamed at him. “Dirty fun?”
“So much filth.” He smiled into a teasing kiss and slipped his hands down to my butt. “First, we’ll hear what Greer has to say.”
“Mmm, now you’re just distracting me with filthy thoughts…” I sucked on the tip of his tongue and scooted closer, wanting to feel him through his pants.
That was when he stopped me.
“You’ve tempted me enough, little one.” He chuckled huskily and withdrew from me to scrub a hand down his face. “Jesus Christ.”
Gah, I wanted to bite him. A thousand tiny explosions of joy surged through me, and I didn’t know what to do with myself. It made me twitch! Like, I tensed up and relaxed, tensed up and relaxed. I just loved having this effect on him, as if he had to physically restrain himself from taking me. It gave me a boost of confidence, and it leveled the playing field. It wasn’t just me who wanted so much.