Sloan laughed softly and rubbed my back. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. But you know what? I will be here to look at something from all sides and perspectives with you if you want. Whether you have questions, musings, if you want to chat—not about the weather—or you want to state something with certainty, I’m here. I’ll play the devil’s advocate. That’s as close as I’ll get to the devil.”
I supposed I had to start somewhere.
My mom had “Life is a leap of faith” engraved on a necklace, something I reminded myself of from time to time when I felt I was withdrawing. From an early age, I’d experienced how easy it was to withdraw in mistrust, and maybe that was part of why I was so social today. It was a habit I’d conditioned most of my life to ensure I didn’t fall behind.
It was another thing that’d changed this year. Somewhere along the road, Marcus had become the only person I listened to. When I knew how important it was to consider multiple perspectives.
I should give Sloan the benefit of the doubt. Greer and Archie too. Maybe they really wanted what was best for me.
Maybe they were a little bit right about Marcus.
A terrifying thought.
Not about the abuse part, but…
Ugh. I just didn’t know.
“Okay.” I swallowed a bout of unease and curled into the fetal position, and I glanced over at Sloan. “It could be good for me to get away from home for a bit and think things through. Just…try not to be so wonderful. I have to keep my distance.”
Rather than smirking at my joke—that wasn’t a joke at all—he grabbed my hand and gave it a squeeze. “You know, distance is probably safe for me too.”
Oh my God.
That wasn’t helping.
What did he mean by that? Because it sounded like maybe, possibly, perhaps the idea of us playing together wasn’t awful to him. I didn’t need that in my head. Greer was much better in that arena. He was wonderfully affectionate but still maintained a set of clear boundaries. Our short-lived arrangement had been as nonsexual as it could be.
I was fairly certain Master Greer wasn’t into Littles, and as a Little with an innocent crush, sure, that stung a bit, but it was still much better than…anything else. And his lack of attraction for Littles didn’t stop him from caring deeply and genuinely about the Littles in our community.
Sloan, on the other hand, was a fucking Daddy Dom, and it was going to be difficult to keep from falling into our kink. I mean, we had a certain way at House Mclean. Once we were close enough, we let our kinky natures show. Colt and Lucas addressed me as little one all the time, and I called them Sir. They were friends. They were in my circle. We shared an understanding and a bond, and now I’d become great friends with Kit, their Little. He was awesome.
But if I were here to regroup from my possibly toxic relationship with Marcus, I knew I was going to be vulnerable for some time. I had to be super, super, super careful not to slide into Little mode or, even worse, regress.
I’d already gone too far, I noticed, when I saw I was playing absently with Sloan’s fingers.
I cleared my throat and eased away from him, and I forced myself to sit up.
“Promise me one thing,” I said quietly. “Let me know the second I become too much. I refuse to be a burden.”
He exhaled a chuckle and shook his head. “It’s never going to happen, but okay, you have my word.”
He couldn’t know that, dammit.
“You’ll see for yourself,” I muttered stubbornly.
“Uh-huh.” He humored me, and not very well. “In the meantime, anything you want from the city? Greer’s in Fairfax picking up some things, and he can stop by your place if you want your duvet or…”
I shook my head, cutting him off. “Is that how it is in the countryside? Swinging by my place in Arlington like it’s a block away from flippin’ Fairfax? I can wait till tomorrow.” We had a munch in DC then anyway.
“We’ve gotten used to driving back and forth a lot,” he admitted with a chuckle. He patted my leg and smiled. “You ready to start your day? You must be hungry.”
I was, and I could smell something cookin’.
“What time is it?”
“It was almost eleven when I came in here.”
Oh! My jaw nearly dropped. I never slept that late!
“You needed your rest.” He touched my cheek briefly before he rose from the bed. “I’m gonna go text Greer to say he can come straight home, and then we’ll eat when he gets here.” Next, he gestured to a pair of jeans that were folded over the desk chair. Were those mine? “Archer washed your jeans and your T-shirt, but if you’d rather borrow comfier clothes, you’re more than welcome to. We’re just gonna be home today.”