I took a ragged breath to attempt to steady my composure. The time had come to ask the question haunting me since finding out the truth. I tried to poise myself by taking another drink of my wine. “I need honesty.”
She nodded. “I’ll give it to you.”
“Do you feel you still have an obsession over the teacher in L.A.? It must have been bad if it landed you in the hospital,” I asked, keeping my gaze locked on her.
“It was bad,” she almost whispered. “But I worked through it. At least with my sickness over him I did. And if you would have kept rejecting me, I can’t say it wouldn’t have gone really bad with you too. I would like to say I’d be strong enough to fight off the really dark demons, but I don’t know.”
“How bad was it?” I leaned toward her, reaching for her hand.
“I hate talking about this, but…” The blush on her face began to take over. “He didn’t have feelings for me. Never did. It was one-sided completely, but I kept thinking I could make him love me, but when that didn’t happen, I got angry. I keyed his car, I spray painted his house, I broke windows… and I set his place on fire.” Corrine pulled her hand away and reached for her wine, taking a large swig.
“Jesus…”
She took another deep breath. “He said he wouldn’t press charges if I agreed to get help. So, I went away and missed most of my senior year which is why I had to repeat it. But there was no way I could return to the same school because enough people knew and were talking. And there was also the fact he had a restraining order on me. So, I decided to attend Black Mountain Academy.” She paused, shrugged, and took another sip of wine. “I guess people would assume I didn’t get enough help because I fell hard for another man who was older than me and in a place of authority. I developed a crush for my principal. A sick crush, people would say. I’m sure my shrink would call it Daddy issues, but I can’t help who I find attractive. And when I saw you… I thought you were the most gorgeous man I had ever seen. I had to get your attention somehow, and yes, I lied. But I really couldn’t think of any other way. The difference with you versus the teacher in L.A. is that you actually seemed to care about me. You saw a side of me that no one saw. You made me feel… loved.”
“I fell hard for you too. Otherwise, this wouldn’t be nearly as hard. It would have been easy to turn my back on you.” She was owed my full honesty as well.
“Really? You fell for me? Do you think there”—she looked around self-consciously, blushing even further—“is a chance that you and I could really be together. Not just in hiding?”
“Well,” I said after a long moment’s silence. “I think you need to graduate. Which isn’t a long time from now.” I narrowed my eyes as I took a sip of wine. “As long as you stop missing school, that is. I’ll excuse the last week, but no more freebies. No special treatment.”
A glow of embarrassment and unease blended together and washed over her cheeks. “Yes. I promise.” Corrine allowed her gaze to move from me, to the calm surface of the lake.
“And I’m not saying it’s going to be easy, because it’s not. We are in different stages of our lives. I don’t know what that means. You still have to figure out what you want out of life and I can’t be the one holding you back.”
She kept her eyes fixed on the moonlight’s glow. She remained silent and didn’t say anything.
I spoke again, impatient for a response. “Look at me. Talk to me.”
She fidgeted beneath my hot glare. “You have to figure out what you want too. Is it me?”
I nodded. “It is.” I poured each of us some more wine. “We need to figure out how to make that work, but I’m committed to try if you are.”
“It’s all I’ve ever wanted,” she said softly, then paused as our waiter approached and placed our entrees before us.
I reached for Corrine’s hand and squeezed. My eyes connected with hers, silently letting her know we were going to be fine. The waiter was rapid and in moments, gone.
“Are you okay with keeping our relationship a secret?” I asked, my voice low. “I have to still remain Mr. D to you for much of the day. You will still be a student at Black Mountain Academy, and that situation could start to take its toll.”
Corrine nodded as she took a bite of her enchilada. “I am. We don’t have a choice. But I get nervous that you’ll want someone older like that Shelly woman.” She stiffened in her chair and reached for her wine with a shaky hand. “I don’t want to eventually be seen as just a kid to you.”