I want to throw up.
I don’t want him to think he needs to punish anyone else.
“Dare?” I call before he gets too far.
He turns to look back at me.
“I love you.”
The words come out in a desperate tumble. I have no idea if it’s what he needs to hear or not, but relief trickles through me when he smiles.
“I love you, too.”
Chapter thirty-six
Aubrey
Sitting on my bed all alone, I go over my options.
I could go to the cops.
Of course, the cops in this town are notoriously crooked, often paid off by wealthy families, and Dare’s family is one of the wealthiest. So, following that path, he gets off with no more than a slap on the wrist somehow, and then what?
Then I’m fucked. Not only does that mean no more treatment for Mom, but likely no more warmth for me—which would render me completely incapable of shielding Hannah from him. I don’t know if he would even care to go after her if he didn’t want me anymore, but he might. Just to prove a point.
I look down at the empty notebook page where I would ordinarily make lists or notes for a difficult problem I’m working out, but the page is blank. Not because I don’t have any ideas, but because I am terrified to commit them to paper and risk Dare seeing it.
I can’t go to the cops. The only way that works out in my favor is if justice is actually served, and it usually isn’t in this town. Also, there’s no way I can pay the referral fee for Mom’s cancer treatment with the tens of dollars I have to my name.
Fuck.
I don’t know what to do. I still have feelings for Dare, but he really scared me today. It wasn’t just all the crazy shit he did, but how casually he talked about it—like it was no big deal. Like I would also think it was no big deal.
Maybe it’s because he’s used to talking to Anae about his misdeeds. She probably wouldn’t care. Hell, she would probably laugh and find it funny, and together they would chuckle about the permanent damage he did to someone over a stupid haiku.
I didn’t plan to be the girl’s bestie anytime soon, but I think a horizontal crucifixion might have been an overreaction.
Also, there are the details I’ve heard since. The sexual shit that her attacker—who is apparently my boyfriend—said to her via text. I don’t know how to feel about it.
I mean, I do. Pissed. If I had the freedom to, I would feel pissed, but after our argument over Hannah got so scary, I’m not sure what I’m allowed to feel.
I don’t like that, either. If he did something wrong, I should be able to be mad about it. I was pretty clear with him that I am not Anae and if he wants to be with me, there will be no playing with anyone else.
But it’s also kind of hard to lay down rules for someone who literally does whatever the fuck he wants without seeming to worry about the consequences.
Maybe I won’t even need to sort all this out myself. What he did was so insanely illegal. Even with his dad’s connections, I’m not sure he’ll be able to get out of this one.
There’s a scratch at my window and I nearly jump out of my skin.
I have a guilty impulse to clear my notebook out of the way, but then I remember I haven’t written anything down.
My limbs are heavy with dread as I climb off the bed and go over to open my window.
Dare climbs in, and I back up, crossing my arms in an unconscious gesture of self-protection.
He notices immediately. I watch him catalogue my stance and flick a glance at my face, but he doesn’t focus on that right now. He closes the window, then looks around my bedroom. His gaze drifts to the notebook and he picks it up.
“What’s this?” he asks.
“I was just working on some homework.”
He cocks an eyebrow. “Doesn’t look like you got very far.”
My cheeks warm and I glance at the blank page. “No, I guess I didn’t.”
He nods knowingly, dropping the notebook and moving closer to me. “Had other things on your mind?”
I nod.
“Have you been talking to Hannah?” he asks casually.
My stomach drops just hearing him say her name. I shake my head quickly. “No. We haven’t spoken since this morning.”
He nods.
Since he brought her up, I try to think how to approach what I want to say. “Please don’t go back to her house.”
He cocks his head curiously.
“I mean, if you’re there to see Anae or whatever, fine, but… please just leave Hannah alone. She doesn’t deserve to be dragged into this. All she wanted to do was be nice to me when your girlfriend targeted me, and she doesn’t deserve to be… mistreated.” To my horror, tears well up in my eyes by the end of that statement.