I shift on my feet, to alleviate what she’s doing to me. “I’m sorry.” Two words I don’t say often, but I can admit when I’m wrong. “I saw the two of you, and I just… I’m sorry.” Those two words are easier to say than the truth. That I’m falling for her. I don’t know what to do with that.
“Okay.”
That’s it?
“You can’t do that. I’m not your concern, and what are you even doing here? I told you that we had plenty of help today.”
“Practice was shorter than normal. I brought you lunch.” I point to the bag on her desk that I’m sure she missed in her haste to change her clothes. Maybe she missed it due to her anger at me. Either way, it’s there in front of her. “Turkey club and chips,” I tell her. “It’s not much, but….” I shrug. I don’t know what to say.
“Thank you.” She looks over to her desk where the bag filled with our lunch sits. “That’s very nice of you.” She pauses to turn and look to me. “Are you hungry?”
“Yeah, I… uh… got some for you, me, Aubrey, and Chance. I wasn’t sure if he’d be here.” I shrug.
“Have a seat. Let me go tell Aubrey and grab us a couple of waters.”
She moves to walk past me and I hold my arm out stopping her. My arm hits at her waist and I pull her into me, wrapping my arms around her in a hug. “I’m sorry, Em.”
“I know. It’s fine.” She pulls out of my hold and moves around me to grab Aubrey’s and our drinks.
It can’t be that easy? Is she really not going to make a big deal out of this? Is she not going to make me grovel?
“Here you go.” She hands me a bottle of water a few moments later. “Aubrey said Chance is on his way. He went to pick CJ up at daycare. We can go ahead and eat without them.” I pull two sandwiches and two bags of chips out of the deli bag and hand her one of each. “Thanks. You can grab Aubrey’s chair or sit at her desk,” she says, taking a seat in her chair.
Not willing to miss an opportunity to be near her, I grab the chair and roll it to her side of the desk. We both dig into our lunch, letting the quiet surround us. This quiet isn’t comfortable. It’s full of everything that goes unspoken between us. I need to tell her that I’m feeling things, things I’ve never felt.
“I appreciate you looking out for me. You were being a good friend. I can appreciate that. Just… pipe down on the ‘my girl’ stuff,” she says, offering me a kind smile.
Friend-zoned.
“Sure,” I say, swallowing my lunch that now feels like cardboard in the throat. I guess if I can’t commit to how I’m feeling, being friends with her is the next best thing. I can be near her, because a day not witnessing her smile or hearing her laugh is a day filled with gloom. She’s magnetic.
“What can I do?” I ask as we clean up our empty wrappers.
“Nothing. We’ve got a good team here today. Thank you though.”
I nod. “Dinner tonight?” I know damn well she’s going to turn me down.
“Landon—” She shakes her head with a grin.
“Hey.” I hold my hands up in mock surrender. “Just asking a friend to have some dinner, share a meal, shoot the shit.”
“Uh-huh.” She’s all-out grinning now and I love every second of it.
“I guess I’m gonna go.” While I say the words, I make no move to pull my ass out of this chair.
“Thanks for lunch. I’d offer to repay you, but I know better.” She points to my face. “That look tells me I’m right.”
“You’re welcome, Em.” I force myself to stand and am surprised when she does as well.
“I’ll walk you out.”
“Any new adoptions?” I ask as we walk toward the front door.
“Not this week. They come in spurts. We’re actually due for another adoption fair. Aubrey and I need to get on that,” she says absentmindedly.
We reach the door and I turn to face her. “I’ll see you soon?”
“Yeah, see ya soon,” she agrees and waves.
I want to hug her or kiss her or beg her to let me stay, but do none of them. Instead, I let my lead-filled feet carry me to my SUV.
“Where are you headed?” Chance asks, climbing out of his SUV as I reach mine.
“Home.”
“I thought you brought lunch?” he asks, opening the back door and lifting his son out of his seat. “Can you say hi to Landon?” he asks his son.
The little boy waves, resting his head on his dad’s shoulder. “Yeah, I did. Em and I just ate.”
“And you’re leaving?” He raises an eyebrow.