“Search your memories, Elon. When did I say ‘yes’ to this?”
He frowned, uncertainty briefly showing itself on his features before his face was back to its usual mask of arrogance. “We both know the answer to that.”
“I don’t.”
He moved closer, and she froze, her body suspended in that unique place he was able to send her to, where anticipation ran rampant through her veins. “You agreed to marry me the minute you asked me to make love to you. The minute you came to Salim with me. The minute you threw yourself into royal life, meeting dignitaries and working so hard to impress them.” He lifted a finger to her chin, forcing their eyes to meet. “You have agreed to marry me many times, azeezi, but I am happy to remind you of why, in case you have forgotten.”
She wanted to tell him he was wrong; she wished she could be calm in the face of what he was doing to her, but her body was in overdrive, desire making thought difficult. When would he stop exerting this power over her?
She struggled to grab hold of sanity and normality. “I’m not a possession,” she said firmly, her eyes showing reprobation. “My brother is my only family, and I value my relationship with him enormously. The last thing I would ever want to do is hurt or disappoint Tasim, especially after everything he’s done for me. If you’ve made things difficult for us, Elon, I’ll never forgive you.” She pressed a palm to his chest, to stop him from crowding her with his physical presence. “We both know I’m a pushover where you’re concerned. Sex is an easy way to control me,” she said with impatience. “It’s much harder to listen to me, and to respect what I’m saying. Please do me the courtesy of at least trying.”
Shock held him still.
He stared down at her, the words an anvil in his brain and body, shattering the image he had of himself into a thousand pieces. Sex is an easy way to control me. Is that what she thought? Heat simmered in his blood, because following her accusation and a brief self-examination was the realisation that she was completely right. He had been using her need for him to guarantee her acquiescence. He’d used her inexperience to cajole her into agreement.
It’s much harder to listen to me, and to respect what I’m saying. Please do me the courtesy of at least trying.
Elon was not a man who apologised often – he rarely needed to. But with Ella, he had the feeling he was almost permanently on the back foot. He expelled a long, deep breath now, sincerity in the depths of his eyes.
“My intention was to break the news to him, to save you the necessity of doing so. I can see now that I infantilised you, and underestimated your relationship with Tasim in the process. That won’t happen again.”
Her lips parted on a sound of surprise. It was damning indeed that she was so surprised by his admission.
“If it is any consolation, I think I convinced him that we are in love.”
She gasped. “What?”
“It seemed like the only way to get him off the phone. He kept demanding to know you were happy, that this was what you wanted.”
“Oh, Elon,” she shook her head, worrying at her lower lip as she moved to a chair across the room, sitting down in it heavily.
“This is not what you want?”
“I don’t know.” She shook her head. “I have no idea what I would have said to him, but I hate the idea of lying to my brother.”
“Any more than you already have?” He prompted, then regretted the sardonic rejoinder when hurt flashed in her eyes. There were mysteries coiled through Ella’s soul, and he felt an unwelcome desire to understand them all.
“Why have you not been honest with him, little one?”
“About what?”
“Your life in England. You are nothing like the media has suggested. One errant article is understandable – the press like to beat up stories from thin air. But there has been an ongoing campaign against you, the kinds of stories that are only possible with your express encouragement. You intended to create an image in the tabloids, and it is based on a total lie. Why?”
She looked away from him – something she did when she was trying to avoid answering his questions. He hated it. He didn’t want secrets with Ella. He wanted to understand everything about her.
And then, would he be able to put her from his mind? Would he be able to stop thinking about her and get back to feeling like himself?
Impatience with himself made his words curt. “Damn it, Ella, don’t ignore me.”
He regretted his tone when she looked up at him, resignation on her beautiful face. “Another order?”
He wanted to deny it; to tell her she was her own person, free to say and do as she chose, but fear accompanied that admission – fear that she may choose to leave if he offered that freedom. He couldn’t allow that – not when there was a very good chance she’d conceived his child.
He crossed his arms over his chest in an attempt to quell the indecisive nature of his usually emotionless thoughts. “Why does everything have to be an argument with you?”
“Regretting your hasty marriage proposal already, Elon? It’s not too late, you know. You can send me away again, forget this ever happened…”
He ignored the sharp jabbing sensation in his side. “Is that what you really want?”