“Of course not.”
“My father was furious.”
She blinked. “Furious?”
“He almost lost two children,” he said with a shift of his head. It was a small gesture, yet it conveyed so much to Ella. She felt it and understood it. How scathing he was of the sentiment – that Elon should have let Luna die for that reason?
“And you were the heir to the throne,” she pointed out.
His eyes narrowed. “Yes.”
His other hand lifted to her side, pockmarked now by red marks from where glass had scratched her. It didn’t hurt to touch anymore. She blinked up at him, feeling every breath of his body echo in her own. There was only a paper’s width between them. If she leaned forward, even slightly, her nipples would brush his bare chest.
What was she doing? What was she thinking? This was madness. Utter, terrifying, irresistible madness! She could only think that the accident had given her a rush of confidence, or perhaps it had simply reminded her how short life was, and how much of it she’d missed out on? She was twenty three years old and she’d never been intimate with a man. Not sexually and not emotionally, either. Even friends she kept at a safe distance, wary of discovering that they were using her for her trust fund, or that they would eventually turn around and decide they didn’t want her in their lives after all.
Now that her mother was gone, Ella was almost completely alone and tonight she was craving the most basic form of human contact and comfort, the simplest form of togetherness there was.
There was just one problem. Having never done this before, she had no idea what to say or do to make that happen. She didn’t even know if Elon was interested in her. In that moment, she desperately wished she had at least one ex-boyfriend in her arsenal, someone who’d taught her the ways of men and seduction, so she could feel more confident in what was happening. Or what she thought might be happening. She didn’t know.
“You aren’t what I expected,” he growled the words, almost like they were a criticism.
“No?”
“You’re tougher.”
She blinked.
“Less spoiled.”
Her heart squeezed.
“But every bit as beautiful as your pictures would suggest.”
Her smile didn’t reach her eyes. “And you’ve seen a lot of pictures of me?”
“When you moved to Mosar, they were difficult to avoid.”
She winced. Tasim hadn’t mentioned how widespread the media attention had been – he’d wanted to protect her.
But maybe those pictures, and her reputation, could be used to her advantage here? Her mind worked quickly, analysing the situation. He was a Sheikh, born to rule, and he was also a man of honour and decency. He wouldn’t sleep with her if he thought she might get hurt – she could tell that without being able to say what she was basing it on. The only way she could get what she wanted would be if she played up the reputation she’d gone out of her way to earn.
“Then you know I don’t see sex as anything special,” she said with a practiced lift of her brow, wondering why it felt so strange to lie to this man?
She saw something flicker in the depths of his dark eyes, but it was gone again almost immediately. He nodded in silent confirmation of what she’d said, and her heart shattered, just a little. Had she been hoping he’d secretly understand that she wasn’t at all like what the media said? He wasn’t an idiot, and she’d worked very, very hard to embarrass her father.
“Your attitudes are obvious.”
She closed her eyes at the unintended insult. It didn’t matter. She wanted to sleep with him and it felt – remarkably – within reach.
Excitement buzzed through her, pushing any sensible thoughts from her mind.
“After what happened today, I’m craving – I need –,”
He made a soft, groaning noise, but didn’t pull away. “You’re in shock.”
“No,” she pushed past that objection. It was an over-simplification of what she was feeling. “I’m alive, and I want to glory in that. I want to feel fully alive, right now. Nothing has ever seemed so important to me.” She looked over her shoulder, towards the narrow bed. “I’m not looking for more than tonight, nor do I want anything from you beyond –,”
Her cheeks went bright pink. Mortifyingly, she couldn’t even say the word ‘sex’.