‘You, I will speak to later,’ he muttered towards Alejandro, before stalking towards the door and leaving, so a crackling silence filled the room. Luca was gone, but his words were still there, ringing through the silence.
Alejandro watched her as though she were an unknown commodity, as though he couldn’t predict how she might respond.
‘Is that why you came up to me that night?’
The words throbbed with hurt she could no longer hide.
Alejandro’s eyes closed for a moment and then he was moving towards her, but she flinched, needing him to stay far enough away so that she could continue to think.
‘He asked you to “look out” for me?’
‘Yes.’
At least he wasn’t making up an excuse. ‘And then, when I came to your office, you tried to get rid of me—’
‘I did no such thing.’
‘You did.’ She wasn’t interested in empty denials. ‘But in the end, you took pity on me, because I was so honest, and you felt sorry for a woman like me, with no experience. You felt sorry for me.’
A muscle jerked in his jaw. ‘Feeling sorry for you is not why I agreed to this.’
A sob was torn from her chest. ‘No? Then why?’
‘Because I wanted you,’ he said firmly. ‘Every part of you. I wanted you, despite the fact my best friend had told me I couldn’t have you. I knew that being with you would jeopardise my friendship with Luca. Can you not see why I hesitated? He is like a brother to me, querida.’
She flinched. ‘And can you not see how disgustingly patronising it is that you and he should even have had that conversation? To discuss me like...like...some kind of object that one of you has the right to grant permission to?’ Heat stained her cheeks, anger rushing through her—anger was so much better than pain. ‘You should have told me all of this. You should have told me it was why you stopped kissing me. You should have told me after we slept together. You should have told me when I asked you to keep our arrangement a secret. There were so many times when you could have explained why you’d come up to me that night...’
‘But by then I knew you.’ His words were spoken with devastating effect. ‘I knew how others had treated you, I knew the dark voice of self-doubt that you have to work to combat, and I knew that you would take his remarks out of context.’
‘Ah, is that what I’m doing?’
‘Yes.’
‘Really? So you don’t think it matters that my brother-in-law begged you to “take care” of the poor, spinster sister? You can’t see how that request reinforces every single rejection I’ve ever known in my life?’
His Adam’s apple moved as he swallowed, and her eyes dropped to the gesture. Panic was gripping her, dragging her downwards. She dug her fingers into her hips to stave off the wave of nausea, fixing him with a frosty stare.
‘But what does it matter, anyway? I came here because I wanted to learn about sex, and, regardless of all that, you’ve done an excellent job of teaching me what I wanted to know.’
His skin seemed to pale, his eyes probing hers, watching her with an intensity that made her shiver. She blinked, looking away.
‘That’s all this is, right? Sex? And now, we really don’t have to see one another again, except in passing. At which point, you’ll be civil, I’ll be civil, and we’ll pretend this never happened.’
‘Sienna—’
‘That’s our agreement, right?’
‘And that’s what you want?’
What she wanted? She wanted to scream! What she wanted was the exact opposite of everything she’d just said, but how could she have any hope he would feel the same? Suppressing a curse, she pinned him with her eyes. ‘What do you want, Alejandro?’
God, his name in her mouth still had the power to make her feel as though she’d ingested stars in their purest form.
‘I want—I need—to know that he’s wrong.’ He came towards her then, each step making it harder for her to breathe. ‘I want to know that I haven’t hurt you. That this thing we’ve done hasn’t hurt you.’
‘Because you see me as he does. Weak. In need of protection. Well, I’m not. You might pity the way I was raised but you should also know this: it made me strong. I learned to cope with just about anything, thanks to my mother, so don’t worry about hurting me. You don’t have that power.’ It was, of course, a lie. No one had quite the same power as Alejandro, but she couldn’t reveal that to him. Not without revealing too much of her heart.
‘Then why are you crying?’