That was barely any time. A blip. He knew from experience that all things became easier with time’s passage. He simply had to go through the motions a little longer, and eventually he’d cease to think of her, eventually he would no longer want her. He had no choice: wanting her was forbidden.
‘Here, Starbuck, here.’ She rubbed behind her dog’s ears, the big, open-mouthed, slobbery smile she got in return making Sienna laugh. She crouched down, pressing her chin to Starbuck’s head. ‘You really are a one-off, girl.’
She pulled back a little, but Starbuck only plonked her furry body down onto the flagstones, resting her own chin on Sienna’s legs.
‘I see. Are we taking a nap now?’
Starbuck breathed out heavily in response.
Sienna stroked the hair between Starbuck’s ears, distracted, happy to rest a moment, to stare out of the open double doors into the almond grove she could just make out directly ahead of her. How many hours had she and Olivia spent hiding out there, away from their parents, pretending they were pirates on the open seas, far away from Hughenwood House and the horrors of their parents’ marriage?
She closed her eyes, pushing away those unpleasant memories, and landing right in far more pleasant ones. His hands on her body. His mouth at her breasts. His fiery Spanish words in her ears, working their way into her heart. She groaned and Starbuck shifted, casting a lazy look up before returning to her resting place.
It had been three weeks since the wedding. Three weeks since she’d met Alejandro Corderó and suffered a temporary bout of insanity that had seen her throw herself at the man, regardless of her lack of experience.
It was tempting—and easy—to blame her mother, who’d spent the entire morning of the wedding nit-picking Sienna until she was ready to blow a gasket—she just hadn’t known she wanted to blow that particular one! But Angelica Thornton-Rose had been on Sienna’s case her entire life. Why had that day been any different? Why hadn’t she been able to fend off her mother’s attacks as always, filing them away into the ‘bitter, vain, aging widow’ category of her mind?
Because it hadn’t really been about Angelica. It had been about Alejandro. All about him, and his unique impact on her. She’d wanted him and, as was often the case with Sienna, she’d acted on her impulses. She hadn’t stopped to question the wisdom of sleeping with her brother-in-law’s best friend. She hadn’t stopped to question anything.She’d wanted him and so she’d done whatever she could to have him, to hell with the consequences.
And yet, there were none. Three weeks later, she’d had confirmation she wasn’t pregnant and, as further evidence of insanity, had actually felt a blip of disappointment and emptiness to realise there was no reason to call him. Imagine that! Tethering herself to a man like him for all eternity simply because he’d made her body feel something she’d never known possible.
No amount of orgasms could make sharing a child with Alejandro worth it. Right?
She bit down on her lip, wishing she were fully convinced of that, and for the hundredth time since the wedding she pulled out her phone and loaded up his number. She’d saved it into the phone that night, discarding his business card. She’d known she’d lose it anyway—Sienna was about as organised as the Mad Hatter after a barrel of wine when it came to paperwork. She stared at the screen, wondering what it would be like to press that little green button. To hear his voice. Just his voice.
She stared at her phone and the impulse to do exactly that was so strong her fingertip actually felt as though it were fizzing. Extricating herself from serving as Starbuck’s pillow, she stood up and paced towards the door, her heart racing as hard and fast as if she were back at the wedding, Alejandro right in front of her.
What have you got to lose?
How about your pride?a stubborn voice reminded her.
After all, a lifetime of being told she was no good couldn’t help but shape the way in which she viewed herself, even when Olivia had done her level best to push Angelica’s cruelty aside as though it meant nothing. And weren’t some things worth a gamble? Look at Olivia! She’d risked everything by going to Rome and asking Luca to marry her.
Sienna didn’t want to marry Alejandro, but she wasn’t sure it was doing any good to continue pretending she didn’t want something from him. But would he feel the same way?
There was only one way to know for sure.