What the fuck were they hiding? They had to be receiving something substantial in return for all of the lives lost down there… Right?
What could be worth a life? How did one put a quantifiable value on that?
Inhaling deeply, I held my breath a moment and focused on gathering all of my negativity and fear into one tight ball. As I exhaled, I pictured the ball leaving my body, leaving me floating on cloud nine, where nothing could permeate the level of tranquility I was left with.
Everything would b—
My TV blared, celebratory music pouring from the soundbar.
I inhaled sharply. “No. No, no, no.”
This wasn’t happening. Was this some kind of sick fucking joke from the universe?
My head lifted from the cushion as I focused on the screen that was flashing neon colors around a white font that said “Congratulations to our newest Selections! Please wait to see the list of five names who will make us proud as they uphold the safety of our world by fulfilling the sacred treaty.”
Typically I’d scoff at the ridiculous notion that this was something to be excited about. The only prize won would be forfeiting your life. But today, my heart dropped into my stomach, and I couldn’t bring any snide remarks or thoughts to the surface.
This time felt different.
My breathing became erratic as I gasped for air, unable to calm myself as I gathered Gizmo into my arms and held him to my chest, trying to focus on his beating heart as an anchor for my emotions.
Rocking back and forth on the couch, tears pooled in my eyes as fear bled into every fiber of my being, waiting for the names to be displayed.
The screen flashed to a white background with black swirling script as the names were revealed.
Serafina Adler
Hope Cassidy
Madison Cromley
Olivia Keller
Mishka Langley
I fell into a vortex that made me feel like I was chained to the bottom of a lake. My vision was blurred, and my hearing was warped. I couldn’t tell down from up, or even if I was breathing.
My name was first on that list. Serafina Adler.
The screen flashed once more, and after years of reading it, I knew what the words would say by heart without even looking at it.
“Report to the loading zone at the Citadel within the next four hours. Bring nothing with you. If you do not report on time, your family will be subject to the defector clause of the treaty.”
Basically, if you defected and ran, your family would be killed. Not much of a choice there, unless you were a heartless piece of shit…and there had been a few of those over the years that the government had made examples of. It wasn’t an idle threat. Those who defected were eventually found and forced to watch their family members be tortured and executed—before they sent you down anyway. If you didn’t have any family, they would still find you and send you to The Below.
There was no escape.
Hot tears streamed down my face as I began to openly sob, cradling Gizmo to me and burying my face in his fur. My worst fear had come true, and so close to the date that marked my freedom, which made it hurt so much more. I’d allowed myself to hope and to dream of my future, and now I wouldn’t have one.
I wailed so loudly my neighbors could no doubt hear the utter heartbreak and despair that fractured my mind. Falling onto the floor, I held Gizmo tightly to me, willing myself to wake up from this terrible nightmare.
Two days and I would have been free.
My sobs eventually quieted after my body had nothing left to give, and reality set in through the haze. This was my new life, and nothing could change it. A blissful numbness settled over my mind and heart as I let Gizmo go and pushed myself to stand, implementing my plan in a robotic trance.
Every woman was told to have a plan in place to expedite the process if you were “lucky” enough to be chosen, so my affairs were already in order. My family would take Gizmo for me and look after him. I even had a stipulation that I thought had been funny at the time, back when I liked to think it would never happen, that they were to feed Gizmo a single scoop of sugar-free vanilla ice cream every night before bed.
The landlord would know to clear out my belongings that my family didn’t take with them, and the home would be available for a new tenant by the end of the week. As if I’d never existed here. Just like that. Erased from society, never to return.