Alexandra
After locking my door up and dropping my keys into the pocket of my hoodie I’d thrown on, I crossed the hall and knocked on Hannah’s door. Much lighter and less hostile than she had done to mine, for the record.
“Come in!” she called from the other side.
Opening the door, I peered inside curiously before stepping all the way in. Her room was fucking immaculate. I mean, seriously, this could have been straight out of a magazine or catalog for dorm rooms. All of her furniture was white, and her bedding was like a weird beige and gray mix. Greige? Was that a thing?
It would have been really plain and stark if not for all of what I’m assuming were fake plants, as well as the wall art she had. For such a small space, it really was welcoming and homey.
“Wow,” I breathed out in awe, feeling a pang of insecurity about what she had thought about my room. No doubt she had seen it behind me with my door open.
I’d opted for one of the furnished dorms the school provided, and it came with the worn down bare necessities. It was mine though, for now.
I know I said that I didn’t care what people thought about my life or my personal space, but that wasn’t quite the truth. The truth was that I wished I could have the chance to pick out my own furniture and decorate the way I wanted. I wanted to be proud of my space and to not be the poor scholarship student.
I didn’t want to be looked at differently or with pity. The tough exterior I kept in place was to prevent that from happening. If everyone thought I was fine and didn’t give a shit, they were less likely to feel bad for me.
I knew without a doubt that many people thought of me as lesser because of my scholarship, though, and that shit hurt, no matter how much I built up my mental fortitude and told myself it was all materialistic bullshit that made them feel superior to me.
“My mom decorated the room.” Hannah sighed before hopping off her bed and bringing over a clear wine glass practically filled to the brim. “This isn’t what I would have done with it, but I’m thankful for it anyways.”
My respect for Hannah was growing by the minute, and I was shocked by how pretty she looked with no makeup on. She had a dainty, almost doll-like appearance now that she had removed it all.
As I took the glass from her, it sloshed over the edge a bit and splattered onto the hardwood floors. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to!” I rushed to say, glancing around for something to wipe it up.
“Oh, don’t worry about it,” she answered and shrugged her shoulders. “It’s my fault for filling it too much. I got a bit overexcited to have a drinking buddy.”
Honestly,I was shocked at the difference in her demeanor from her crying in my arms just a bit ago to being this calm, relaxed version of herself. How did someone in so much pain turn it off like a light switch?
I hated that my suspicion of her was now rising, replacing the respect that had been budding in my mind. It was a part of who I was, the tendency to expect the worst of people. It was exhausting, but it saved me a lot of headache and heartache.
She grabbed a wet wipe from somewhere and cleaned the spot before tossing it into the small trash can next to her nightstand. Clapping her hands once, she wiggled her brows at me before grabbing her glass and lifting it to mine. “Cheers to teaming up and taking Chloe Blufount down.”
It took a few seconds for her words to process through my head, and still I didn’t understand. “I’m sorry, come again?”
A grin pulled at her lips as she sat on the bed and patted the space next to her, gesturing for me to join her. Ignoring that invite, I sipped the sweet white wine and continued to stand.
Shaking her head lightly, she pulled her legs up to sit criss-crossed and leaned against her pillows, sighing as she closed her eyes. “I can picture it already. I know all of her deepest, darkest secrets. She thinks no one could possibly be a threat to her, so she’s quite loose-lipped.”
This wasn’t something I wanted to be a part of, but I wasn’t quite sure how to break the news to Hannah. Clearing my throat, I tried to let her down gently. “Listen, Hannah. Everyone knows I’m the scholarship kid, so it’s probably not a surprise to you that I can’t do anything to jeopardize that.”
After she took a gulp of wine, she waved her hand at me like I was being ridiculous. “It wouldn’t be anything physical that you could be caught being a part of. What I had in mind was more of a mental warfare.”
My gut was still telling me no, despite wanting more than anything to give Chloe a dose of fucking reality. Anything that would bring her head out of the clouds. But not like this. The way I managed that was to best her, fair and square, with grades.
“I’m sorry, but no. If Chloe ever even caught wind that I was a part of any type of plan, I’d be packing my bags tomorrow,” I stated adamantly before going to put my wine glass down, a tightness forming in my chest at this uncomfortable situation. “Maybe I should go.”
“Wait! No!” Hannah half-yelled, shocking me. A second later, her tone was back to a soothing level as she gestured to the bed. “Okay, no talk of Chloe, I promise. Let’s just chat?”
Fuck, maybe I was reading way too far into the situation. After all, she really hadn’t done anything wrong. She’d been fucked over by those she thought were closest to her; it was only human nature to want revenge to make those who screwed you over feel as badly as you. Because then the playing field is even, right?
Wrong. I’d tried that before when I was younger at one of my foster homes.
Sure, maybe you’d feel a few seconds of satisfaction at your accomplishment, but after that? All it did was leave you feeling just as shitty as you did before, if not worse, because you realized you’d stooped to their level.
“Okay,” I hedged, “What do you want to talk about?”
Brushing my hair behind my ear, I walked to the edge of the bed and sat down sideways, propping one leg up and keeping the other on the floor. This was as much commitment as she was getting from me.