His low voice was like a whip cracking through the silence when he said, “How come you didn’t tell them I am your mate?”
She blinked. Had that been bothering him the whole night? She’d assumed his chilly reserve was caused by the unfamiliar company, not that. “Cal…” She struggled to come up with the right words. Ones that wouldn’t give away how much she desperately wanted to keep him and ones that wouldn’t push him away, either. Relationships were so new to him, she couldn’t bear to influence him one way or the other. And, if she were being honest, she was scared to the bone that giving up the act would put an end to their relationship.
But she couldn’t lie to him, either, so instead she said, “You and I are just starting out. I wasn’t going to put that kind of pressure on you.”
Cal spun around and pinned her with a dark look. “You are my mate. That was the agreement.”
A spark of annoyance firmed up her spine. She wanted nothing more than to forget about that stupid, stupid deal, but he wouldn’t let her! It hurt that he seemed to only care about their relationship in the context of the deal, and that hurt came out in her voice. “Well, what was I going to say, Cal? This is my mate, but only until after I finish writing a book? There was no way I was going to explain that to my parents!”
Cal was in front of her in the blink of an eye. Fog billowed around the room, obscuring every bit of pressed glitter and hot pink decor. The string lights twinkled through the gossamer mist, creating a dreamlike quality that was at odds with the tension between them.
He bore down on her with an expression of pure hurt when he hissed, “No anniversary. No telling them you’re my mate. What’s next? I told you I wanted everything, Elise. This is not everything. This is some… some half thing, and I don’t want it.”
Guilt twisted the knots in her stomach tighter. She’d been so careful with him, trying to show him that she cared and that it wasn’t really about the book or the deal or any of that nonsense, but she’d also kept from mentioning the future for fear that he would tell her he had every intention of leaving her.
But that was selfish. The only real way to keep from hurting Cal was to cut him off at the beginning, before he got too deep into something he couldn’t wrap his head around yet. He couldn’t comprehend the mess they could make of one another, but she did. It was her responsibility to keep control of things. Instead of sticking to her guns and ending things before they began, she’d let him convince her to make an even bigger mess because she didn’t actually want to stop.
Her throat was thick with withheld tears when she asked, “Do you want to end things, then?”
Cal went very still. “End things?”
She sucked in a shuddering breath. Damn, she’d done this to herself, but that didn’t make it any easier to take. “This is confusing and obviously painful for you, which is what I worried about when we… started. I don’t want you to be hurt, Cal.” Her voice broke on his name, but she pushed ahead anyway. “If you want to end things now, then—”
Cal cut her off with a brutal, breath stealing kiss. His hands circled her waist and drew her close enough to plaster them together chest to thigh. One hand came up to curl into her hair, holding her still as he pressed one desperate kiss to her mouth after another.
“No, no, no,” he panted against her lips. “I’m not ready to let you go. I can’t do it. I won’t do it.”
Elise’s will crumbled to so much dust, as it always did when she felt the ache in him. Gods, she couldn’t leave this man. She didn’t want to. She needed to just tell him she didn’t care about the book or the deal and that she wanted him to really be her mate. Once that was out of the way, they could move forward — one way or the other.
Cal didn’t give her the chance.
He slid his tongue along the seam of her mouth and then past it, stroking hers with a possessive caress. She didn’t think anyone liked kissing as much as Cal did. Certainly, no one she’d ever kissed did it half as well as he did.
The hand on her waist slid under the hem of her shirt and up the bare expanse of her back, sending a new and exciting ripple of sensation down her spine. The shock of feeling his bare skin on hers made her gasp.
So far, she’d been very careful not to go past kissing with Cal. She knew he was eager for more — it was hard not to notice when the man eschewed clothing most days — but Elise was the one with the experience. She knew it was her responsibility to make sure he didn’t go too far, too fast, and overwhelm himself. She’d always been careful to watch his cues, looking for signs that he was ready to move onto the next step, but he’d never shown any.
Not until now, anyway.
Desire wiped away her tension, the urgency she felt to just tell him. Unfulfilled, it had only gotten darker, sweeter as the weeks wore on. When Cal moved his hand to slide his fingers under the cup of her bra, Elise leaned into his touch. When he groaned, low and throaty, at the feeling of her tight nipple between the pads of his fingers, she dropped her hands to the waistband of his jeans.
When she popped the button and carefully pulled down the zipper, he hissed and pulled back from their kiss. Panting, he rasped, “What are you doing?”
Elise cupped his cheek with one hand and slid the other under the elastic band of his briefs, her eyes on his, watching for any sign of hesitancy or discomfort. When she brushed her fingertips over the silky skin of his shaft, he sucked in a ragged gasp that nearly unwound her. She clenched her thighs, assailed by a relentless, brutal desire.
“You said you wanted everything,” she whispered, kissing the corner of his mouth with the utmost care. “Baby, I haven’t even started giving you everything yet.”
She curled her fingers around him and squeezed gently. His hips jerked. The hand in her bra spasmed, pinching her nipple sharply. A streak of pleasure raced down her spine to join the aching beat between her legs.
Gods, he felt like heaven in her hand. Heavy and silky, with all that perfect, pearlescent skin flushed almost pink. Elise had exactly zero doubts that he’d taste like heaven, too.
Cal stared down at her, lips parted and slick. His chest moved up and down with every deep inhale and exhale. “I want it,” he breathed, voice hoarse with lust. “I want it all, witch.”