“I shouldn’t have agreed to your terms.” A flash of something very close to hurt passed over his expression. Oh, no. I can’t hurt him. I can’t. Panicked, Elise reached for him with both hands. She twisted his shirt in her fists and rushed to explain, “Cal, listen. When I agreed, I didn’t realize the extent of your… of what you’d been through. I never would have agreed to it if I knew. You deserve a home and love and all the things we talked about not as a deal, but because it’s your right as a sapient being. I can’t stomach the idea of being someone who gives that to you for the first time, only to rip it away as soon as our transaction is done. You deserve better than that.”
Just the idea of sending this poor soul packing the moment the book was finished made her ill. It was all fun and games when she thought he was just socially awkward or inexperienced, but this was different. What kind of monster was she?
Cool hands cupped the sides of her neck. Cal’s grip was firm; his thumbs pressed hard into the line of her jaw. Elise stared up at him with wide eyes as he clearly struggled to find the words for something. To tell her off? To shame her for what was so clearly a terrible mistake?
“No.” His voice was louder, harder, than she’d yet heard it. This was no murmur. It was a stone cold demand. “No, I do not accept this. I want our deal. I’ll have it, Elise. I will.”
“Cal—”
His mouth crashed down on hers. She yelped, surprised by the flash of pain caused by her lips hitting her teeth, but she didn’t pull away. Cal angled her head back and leaned into her until all she could see and smell and feel was him.
The pressure on her lips softened as he molded his mouth to hers, seeking something he clearly didn’t know how to find. Elise’s heart lurched in her chest. She was his first kiss. One hundred and thirty-nine years old, and he had only ever kissed her. No wonder he felt so desperate as he slid his lips against hers, a needy sound rumbling in the back of his throat.
Cal was starving for affection. She’d callously dangled hers in front of his nose, only to snatch it out of his reach by backing out of their deal.
Elise felt something in her crumble. The last clinging remnants of any professionalism were swept away with her rejection of their deal. Perhaps he wouldn’t let her back out of the deal, but that didn’t mean she had to actually go through with it. If she was going to do this, it wasn’t going to be a transaction. It occurred to her that he may not feel comfortable interacting with her outside of the structure of a deal, and that was unacceptable. She couldn’t let him go.
Elise would keep up the facade of their deal, but it wasn’t going to be because she wanted something from him. She wouldn’t be another in a long line of takers.
Fierce possessiveness and the overwhelming desire to protect this incredible, damaged being swept through her, scouring her doubts like a bitter wind.
For once, Cal was going to know what it was like to receive.
Elise untangled her fingers from the hem of his shirt and smoothed them upward, over the trim expanse of his stomach and the sweep of his chest. Curling her arms around his back, she stroked the muscles bracketing his spine with careful slowness. He shuddered, lips stilling their frantic movement against hers. His breaths puffed in harsh exhales against her cheeks.
She hummed a soft, soothing note and leaned into him, guiding the kiss into something softer, deeper. Her lips parted and she very gently swept her tongue over his bottom lip. The noise of hungry surprise that escaped him made her stomach muscles tense. A pounding heat took up residence between her thighs.
It didn’t take him long to realize what he’d been missing. Cal was a voracious kisser. He let her lead, but she got the sense that it was only because he was learning, figuring out what he liked. As soon as he realized he could taste her, Cal kissed her like the starved creature he was.
Elise’s blood was molten with desire. The magic between them was saturated with it. Even the fog obscuring the interior of her apartment began to crackle with the neon pink and teal sparks of her energy. Every slide of his tongue against hers, every soft groan of pained pleasure he made, every unconscious rock of his hips into hers made her pulse throb with a deep, achy rhythm between her thighs. Gods, she wanted this man more than she’d wanted anyone in her life.
Moving her hands back around to press against his chest, Elise tore her mouth away with a ragged gasp. She had to go slow. He was new to this, and making sure he was comfortable and ready for intimacy was essential.
Cal made to follow her retreat, chasing her lips with his own, but she turned her head away. “Cal, we need to talk about—”
His lips, wet and swollen from her kisses, trailed over her cheekbone to press against the shell of her ear. “Don’t take this from me, witch,” he rasped, mistaking her protest for a rejection. “A deal is a deal.”
He paused, breathing hard, before he begged in a broken whisper, “Please don’t take this from me.”
Elise squeezed her eyes shut. How in the gods' names could she refuse him? If it was a deal he wanted, then she would just have to give it to him — in her own way.