"Please don't stop."
He lowers his mouth to me once more and soon, the pleasure builds inside.
"Tell me when you're close again," he says, stopping his motions.
His tongue touches me lightly then withdraws and I can't help it – I strain, pressing my hips up, searching for the sensation. My body's shaking as I try to find him, my face flushed.
"I'm going to come," I say once more and he stops, withdrawing his fingers, rising up to lean back over me, kissing me.
"Just breathe, Eve. The longer you wait, the better it'll be."
"I've waited long enough."
"Oh, you have," he says and leans over me, pulling me back down so that I'm positioned at the end of the bed once more. "And so have I."
He kisses me again and presses his erection against me, pressing it between the lips of my sex, and I thrust against him, hungry to feel him inside of me. He stands up and rubs the head against me, the slick wetness of it feeling almost as good as his mouth. He thrusts his hips, running his length against me, stopping to tease the opening to my body, repeating the motion until I feel as if my head will burst.
He enters me finally, his entire length filling me up, and begins thrusting, and it feels so good, so sweet, that I feel as if I'll pass out, groaning, closing my eyes when our minds connect and I feel his lust on top of my own.
"I'm going to-"
"No, don't close your eyes," he says, his voice shaking as he leans over me. He takes my chin in his hand. "Look at me. Look at me when you come."
I open my eyes and watch him above me, his eyes on me, sweat on his forehead, and feel the sensations build until the sweetness of it overtakes me, making me tense up, my body spasming around him as he thrusts, my eyes closing despite my best intentions, a cry escaping my lips.
He groans as my orgasm crests and starts to subside, and he rises up, pulling my hips lower, thrusting harder, his hands gripping my hips, pulling me to meet him with each thrust. Then he grimaces in pleasure, grunting as he comes, his body shaking.
He collapses on top of me and kisses me. My emotions overwhelm me, tears stinging at the corners of my eyes because as much as I enjoyed this, it should be Michel. I turn my head to the side, not wanting him to see me, but he turns my face back and kisses me.
He already knows how I feel.
He leaves me in the night while I’m asleep. When I wake, the empty bed makes me feel empty inside. I wanted him here when I woke. I’ve been alone so long.
When I get up for the day, I peer out into the main living area, where Vasily is sitting drinking coffee.
“Where’s Julien?”
“Gone out of town.”
I frown. “For how long?”
Vasily shrugs. “He didn’t say. Maybe one week.”
I go back into my room and sit on the bed, an empty feeling in the pit of my stomach.
Chapter 15
“Love possesses not nor will it be possessed for love is sufficient unto love.”
Khalil Gibran
THE WEEK GOES BY, each day the same as the one preceding it. No word from Julien, nothing from Vasily. I'm now angry as well as hurt. By Saturday, I'm numb to the whole business. My feelings about him – whatever they were – were misplaced. Of course they were – he's a vampire and once again I think about my traitorous heart. Like Michel, the mission comes before everything else.
I decide to blot him out of my memory. I needed a dose of reality. He gave it to me. I should thank him. I'll act as if nothing happened between us if he does come back. That his being gone was noted but that I haven't fallen apart. If he tries to touch me, I'll just let him, and not respond positively or negatively. I'll just let him do whatever he wants. It won't be because I've begged him or chosen him.
That's what he wants, after all. My compliance.
It's while I'm practicing the Ballade that he arrives back at the apartment. When I hear the door open, I know it's him, and for a moment, just a second, I wonder how to respond. Should I stop playing and wait for him to come over? Should I keep playing as if I didn't notice him being back?