She smiled as she said it, though her gaze was wary.
“The announcement was a surprise,” Erika agreed. And she’d received it not only from Dorian, but from Jenny, Chriszette—and even Conrad’s assistant. Lest she complain that she hadn’t been invited or informed, she supposed. Things she couldn’t imagine doing now but she certainly might have done a few weeks back. She could admit that. “But I survived it intact.”
Jenny sighed as she played idly with her wineglass. And Erika couldn’t keep herself from studying the enormous, sparkling ring that didn’t quite fit on her slender left hand. It slid as she moved, tipping the great stone this way, then that.
Silence had never been their thing. And Erika was suddenly struck by the unpleasant realization that it was because she’d always filled it. She’d always been perfectly happy to twitter on about herself, hadn’t she? Especially in recent years, when she’d viewed every in-person meeting with anybody as an opportunity to deliver highly curated press releases on how wonderful her life was.
Confront yourself and you conquer your fears, Dorian had told her, the dick.
“Jenny,” Erika said softly now, with more self-possession than she’d ever thought she had. “Tell me how this happened.”
She’d wanted to saythis tragedy, which she certainly would have before. But something stopped her tonight—possibly the fact that Jenny certainly didn’t looktragic. And more to the point, hadn’t asked Erika’s opinion.
It was another little prick of shame that the pre-Berlin version of Erika would have steamrolled right in and bludgeoned half of London with her opinion without caring if anyone had solicited it. How charming.
“As I’ve mentioned before, I’m sure, my father has never appreciated my passion for charity work,” Jenny said, smiling wryly over her glass of wine.
“I would be astonished if your father appreciated passion in any form.”
Jenny’s smile deepened. “He’s quite fond of his dogs.”
Erika drank from her own glass. “I’m not sure I can figure out how we get from passionate charity work that benefits children in war zones to...Conrad.”
Jenny’s smile faded. She frowned down at her wine, but didn’t take a sip.
“We were at an event in Stockholm. My father likes me to play his hostess even when it’s not his party, so I was with him when he met Conrad. They started talking business, my father liked him, and a few days later he announced that he’d taken it upon himself to set us up on a date.” She lifted her gaze. “Which isn’t unusual. I’ve complained about this before. Any day now I expect him to simply announce that he’s sold me off.”
Erika smiled. Then returned to the subject at hand. “And you went on the date, clearly.”
“I didn’t dare say no,” Jenny said. “I assumed Conrad had either been pushed into it, or thought he could go on a single pity date and then carry on with whatever business dealings he had with my father. But instead, he asked me out on a second date.”
“And again, you went?”
“I couldn’t say no.”
“It’s simple, Jen.No.See? I did it.”
“Erika.” And her friend leveled a frank, sad sort of look at her. “Please stop pretending you don’t know what my father’s like. I’ve been playing this game for years. He sets me up on a date, and yes, I go on the dates, because that’s the price I have to pay for my independence.”
“You shouldn’t have to pay a price for your independence.”
Jenny’s smile was sad. “Shoulddoesn’t have much to do with it, I’m afraid. It never has done.”
Erika remembered this from their university days. Jenny’s sense of unwavering duty to her stuffy, unsupportive father—or maybe, more realistically, to the nostalgia she’d been raised on. The grand stories about what had made the Markham family great. And wealthy.
Not so long ago, she would have railed at her friend about this. Tonight, she kept her mouth shut instead.
“I know that I could rebel,” Jenny said quietly when Erika didn’t speak. “Sometimes I dream of it. But that’s not who I am. So yes, I went on that second date, because my father expected me to. And I went on the third, and when Conrad brought me back home to my father’s house, he stayed for a drink. And proposed marriage, there and then, with this honking great ring and all that... Well. You know what your brother is like. Sosureof everything.”
“I do indeed.”
Jenny sent her a reproving look. “And it’s all snowballed since. My father was the happiest I’ve seen him in years. Certainly since my mother died. Later that night, after Conrad left, he fairly waxed rhapsodic about putting me in safe hands at last.”
“But, Jen.” Erika’s voice was soft. Not quite imploring, but close. “You don’t love him.”
Jenny took a breath, but her gaze was steady when it met Erika’s.
“He’s kind to me,” she said simply. “We want the same things, more or less. He’s perfectly happy if I continue working, which isn’t something I could say for all the cavemen my father’s sent me on dates with. I’m going to have to marry one of them. Conrad is by far the best option.”