CHAPTER THIRTEEN
SAFIYAHOPENEDTHEwindow and leaned out, inhaling the fresh morning air, trying to dispel her anxiety.
She reminded herself of how much she had to be thankful for.
Tarek was safe. Not only that, but after only a few months living with Karim he was thriving. The nervous little boy who had expected only brusque orders from Abbas was learning to relax under his adoptive father’s encouragement.
Rana was well and happy, actually excited at the prospect of studying again.
Meanwhile, Hassan Shakroun, the man she’d so feared, was on trial with a number of his associates for kidnap, bribing officials and conspiring to murder. Safiyah shuddered.
It truly had been a lucky day when Karim had agreed to take the sheikhdom. Everything was working out so well.
And yet…
Her heart beat high in her throat as she turned to look at the pregnancy test on the bathroom’s marble counter. She didn’t want to see the result.
The chances of a baby were slim. She’d begun taking contraception as soon as she’d realised theirs wasn’t going to be a paper marriage. Yet since then Safiyah hadn’t had a normal period. She’d ascribed that to stress, upsetting her cycle. Until yesterday, when she’d folded her arms and noticed her breasts were tender.
Safiyah bit her lip and breathed deep, chastising herself for her fear. Forcing herself closer, she picked up the stick and read the result.
Pregnant.
The indicator blurred before her eyes as her hand shook.
She was having Karim’s child.
Safiyah groped for the counter-top, grabbed it as she swayed.
She shook her head. Why was she shocked? Hadn’t she known in her heart of hearts that there was a child? There’d been mornings where she hadn’t been able to face breakfast, and that underlying sense that something was different.
She opened her eyes and stared into the mirror, taking in the too pale features of the woman peering back.
The fact was she’d made herself pretend pregnancy wasn’t possible even though she knew no contraceptive was foolproof. Even though she and Karim had a highly charged sex-life. He spent every night with her, and she couldn’t remember a night when one or the other hadn’t instituted sex.
Her mouth twisted grimly. At least she had the terminology right. It wasn’t making love as far as Karim was concerned. It was just sex. Convenient, explosive and satisfying. And she was so weak, so needy when it came to Karim, that far from repulsing him she was greedy for his touch.
Her hand smoothed over her flat belly.
There was nothing convenient about this child. Yet, despite the circumstances, she wanted this baby. Warmth spread through her as she contemplated this new, precious life. She’d do everything in her power to protect and nurture it. No doubt Karim, too, already so good with his adopted son, would love his own child to bits.
Her fears weren’t for the baby, who would grow up cared for by both parents. Her concern was for herself.
She sucked in a breath that was half a sob.
Bringing another child into this world, even knowing it would be loved and cared for, revealed the stark contrast with her own situation. Unloved. Unwanted except as a convenience. As a means of propping up Karim’s claim to the throne and to breed him heirs.
Pain sheared through her as the ugly truth hit her full force.
She was pregnantagainby a man who didn’t love her. Who’dneverlove her.
Her place in his life was cemented fast—sex object, for as long as his passion lasted, royal hostess and brood mare.
And what would she do about it? Whatcouldshe do?Demandhe love her?
A bitter laugh escaped, scoring her throat as if with gravel shards. That would only reveal her feelings for him, when the one thing she had left was her pride. She intended to salvage that, at least.
There was no question of her deserting him. She had Tarek to consider, and this new child. Shehadto stay for their sakes.