‘My father suggested it. Abbas agreed and I…consented.’
Karim cursed the darkness that prevented him reading Safiyah. Something in her voice intrigued him. Despite his residual anger he felt reluctant admiration that she’d admitted it had been her choice.
He breathed deep. Time to let this rest. Yet…
‘It was a happy marriage?’
Safiyah scanned the dark form before her, trying and failing to read his expression.
A happy marriage?
She almost laughed. She’d believed once that she’d have just that—with Karim, of all people. The absurdity of those dreams tasted like ash on her tongue.
She’d been all but forced into marriage. Technically, she could have said no. But with her father fading before her eyes and both of them worried about Rana, Abbas’s offer had been afait accompli. Karim had turned his back on her. Her father’s health had been spiralling down as worry increased and they’d struggled to find the care Rana needed after her breakdown.
Abbas had taken care of everything. He’d got Rana immediate entry to an exclusive clinic renowned for its excellence. A clinic which usually had a long waiting list. Safiyah had been so grateful, and in the circumstances what reason could she have given for rejecting him?
‘It was a good marriage,’ she said finally.
If bygoodshe meant that it had conformed to expectations.
Publicly, Abbas had honoured her. Yet otherwise he’d had little to do with her except when he’d wanted sex or needed a hostess. He’d helped her support her sister, and in his own way had been pleased with his son—if disturbingly distant. And if he had been too autocratic for her taste and hadn’t loved her—well, he’d been the King and she’d never expected love. She’d done her best to play her royal role.
‘A good marriage? Not a happy one?’ Karim leaned close, as if intent on her answer.
Safiyah stiffened. Despite the joy Karim had brought her tonight, she didn’t have the emotional resources to deal with an autopsy on her first marriage. She’d survived it and that was what mattered. Dredging up the details would only reinforce the fact that, despite tonight’s sexual satisfaction, she’d given herself in another loveless marriage.
She swallowed hard, forcing down the metallic taste of despair. Could she really go through this again? Especially when this was a hundred times worse because part of her kept hoping for some sign that Karim cared for her. Even though sheknewthat was impossible.
‘That’s enough, Karim. I don’t ask you about your past. I don’t delve into your secrets.’
In the gloom she saw him stiffen as if she’d struck him. Because she’d answered back or because he had secrets he wouldn’t share? She was too weary and upset to ask.
‘You’ll have to forgive my curiosity.’ But his voice held no apology. Instead it cut like honed steel. ‘I thought it would be useful to know more about you since we’ve undertaken to spend our lives together.’
He sounded anything but thrilled about that! He made it sound like a prison sentence.
Gone was the passionate lover. Gone the tenderness that had wound itself around her foolish, unthinking heart and made her begin to believe that miracles might be possible.
Karim’s haughty tone reminded her exactly why they’d married.
Pragmatism, not love.
Never love.
Safiyah choked back the sob that thickened her voice. Perhaps she was vulnerable after tonight’s unprecedented experiences, but suddenly the idea of spending her whole future in a marriage where she’d have to pretend not to crave what she could never have was too much.
‘Don’t bother about that,’ she said. ‘A successful royal marriage doesn’t require you to know me or I you. In fact, it will work best if we meet as polite strangers.’
She gathered the sheet tight around her and rolled away. ‘I’m going to sleep now. I’ve got a headache.’