As if his family wasn’t a priority. Ashraf’s teeth clenched. He hated the idea of Tori with an uncaring parent. Yet surely that should make her more willing to create a real family for Oliver?
‘Everything I did was judged on how it would look. I wanted to play soccer but he thought it more ladylike if I learned piano.’ She shook her head. ‘As a kid I couldn’t get dirty or be seen in public with a hair out of place. It was extreme and unnecessary. I knew other politicians’ kids who didn’t live like that, but he saw me as an extension of himself. Everything was about appearance, not about being a real family. Our only value was as props to make him look good.’
Tori grimaced.
‘I think eventually it destroyed my mother. She stayed with him because of me. She thought any family was better than none. But Iknowwe’d have been better just the two of us, without him.’
Now Ashraf began to understand. Did Tori see parallels between his proposal that they marry to create a family for Oliver and her mother sticking at a bad marriage for her child’s sake? Worse, did she compare his motivations with her father’s?
The idea revolted him.
‘And even now he tries to manage your life?’
Tori laughed, the sound sharp. ‘Hardly! I rebelled when my mother died and I went to university. He wanted me to study law and follow in his footsteps.’
‘But you chose geology.’ He smiled. ‘An act of rebellionanda chance to get your clothes dirty?’
Her chuckle warmed him, expelling the chill he’d felt since they’d begun this conversation.
‘You could be right. It also gave me a career that would take me far away from him.’
‘When you found yourself pregnant you didn’t seek his assistance?’
He found it perplexing that she’d moved to the opposite side of Australia from her father. Without family support things must have been tough.
Her hand twitched in his, as if she’d withdraw it. Ashraf placed his other hand on hers, holding it steady. ‘What is it?’
Her gaze met his then slid away. ‘I told him what had happened and he told me to abort the baby. He said there was nothing to be gained from having it and that it would make it hard for me to secure the right sort of husband.’
Ashraf’s hands tightened around hers. His throat choked closed on a curse. He drew a slow breath, searching for calm. ‘Maybe he thought a permanent reminder of what you’d been through—’
‘Don’t try to excuse him!’ Tori’s voice rose to a keening note. ‘He wasn’t interested in me or how I was doing. He didn’t even want me to see a counsellor in case my story leaked to the press.’ She shook her head. ‘He said my behaviour wassordid. He washed his hands of me and he has no interest in Oliver.’
Indignation exploded through Ashraf. Tori had been kidnapped and traumatised and the best her father had been able to do was tell her to abort the baby. He knew by her expression that her father had said far more too. Had he blamed Tori for what happened?
For her sake Ashraf had to stifle his incandescent fury. With difficulty he sat, outwardly calm. Yet he imagined getting his hands on the man who’d dared talk of marriage settlements and closer relations when he hadn’t the common decency to care for his own flesh and blood.
‘In that case you’re better off without him. While you’re in Za’daq I can make sure you never have to deal with him again.’ It was little enough, but he’d take pleasure in doing it for her.
She nodded. ‘Thank you.’
It was a good thing for Jack Nilsson that he was on the other side of the globe. Ashraf wasn’t a violent man but he’d enjoy making an exception in this case.
No wonder Tori was wary of a pragmatic marriage. He’d mentioned the importance of public perception in Za’daq and maybe she assumed his motives were like her father’s. The idea sickened him.
He stroked his fingers down her hot cheek, then lifted her chin so she had no choice but to meet his eyes.
‘I give you my word, Tori. I’m not like your father.’
‘I know that.’
But her smile was crooked. It cracked his heart to see her look that way. He was used to her being defiant, strong and independent. He hated it that perhaps some of the pain he read on her face was because ofhim.
‘I make you a promise, Tori.’ He placed one hand over his heart, his expression grave. ‘If we marry I will be devoted to you and our children. Always. To be Sheikh is a privilege and an honour, but I know, Iunderstandthat family is more important than power and prestige.’
How could he not know? He’d grown up unloved and unregarded except by his brother. Ashraf would have given anything to have had an atom of love or even liking from his father. Or a genuine memory of a mother’s tenderness.
‘My family will be the centre of my life. You have my word on it.’