Not now, though.
She looked over to the bedside table and the cufflinks he had dropped last night; his tux was hanging over the suit holder.
Order had been brought to the bedroom.
Except for the hot mess that lay in his bed, Ariana thought.
Yes, an utter hot mess, because despite assurances and promises, both to Gian and herself, she had completely fallen for him.
Well, that was a given...
No, this was bigger.
This feeling was almost more than her head could contain.
It was a cocktail of affection and craving and desire and hunger but she refused, even to herself, to call it love.
It was lust, Ariana told herself.
He had turned on her senses, introduced her to her body, and she must not allow herself to believe that the kisses and intimacies shared last night were exclusively known to her.
Except it had felt as if they were.
It had felt, last night, when she had been trapped in his gaze, being kissed, being held, as if this feeling had been new to them both.
She heard the shower being turned off, and she imagined him in there naked, the mirrors all steamed up. She willed him to come out and face the woman who should not be in his bed and she hoped he wasn’t wondering how to get rid of her.
Oh, God, this was going to be a million times harder than the first time. Then, it had felt like she had been party to the rules, but this time, naked in his bed, she had to find the armour to brazen out a smile and leave without revealing her heart.
He came out of the bathroom with a distinct lack of conversation and a thick white towel wrapped around his lean hips.
‘Buongiorno,’Ariana said, and looked at Gian with his black hair dripping and unshaven face.
Unshaven, for Gian had barely been able to bring himself to look in the mirror.
He had got too close, and what had felt like a balm last night now felt like an astringent. He couldn’t bear to let anyone in.
More, he couldn’t bear that he was about to hurt her.
‘I’ll call for breakfast,’ he said in a voice that attempted normality but failed. She noted that he did not get back into bed.
Ariana gave a half-laugh at his wooden response in comparison to the easy flow of words last night. ‘You sound like the butler.’
He said nothing to that and Ariana pulled herself up from the bed. ‘I’ll have a shower.’ It served two purposes: one, she refused to force a conversation on an unwilling participant and appear needy and pleading; and, two, she felt the sudden sting of tears and desperately wanted to hide it.
‘Sure.’ Gian said, fighting with himself not to dissuade her. He stepped back as she brushed past and he only breathed again when she closed the bathroom door.
Why the hell was he like this?
Gian generally fought introspection, but he sat on the bed and wrestled with his demons.
The panicked part of Gian wanted the maids to come in and service the apartment so he could get back his cold black heart, instead of fighting the urge to go into the bathroom and join her in the shower before spending a lazy Sunday in bed.
The buzz of his phone had him glancing at the bedside table. Luna calling at such an early hour on a Sunday morning would generally cause him to curse, yet now he leapt on the distraction and took the call.
It was not good news, to say the least.
Ariana, he knew, would freak.