I nod.
“I can’t believe he…” She shakes her head.
“Mom, I was going to find out eventually. Why didn’t you want me to know?”
“What else did he say?” she asks nervously, gripping my shoulders and shaking me a little.
“That he owns a bar. Mom! You’re hurting me!”
“I’m sorry, honey. How about you skip school today?”
“What? Why?”
“We can go out shopping.”
“For what?” I grumble, not happy at all.
“Flowers.”
I brighten. “Yes! Flowers at all of the shops!”
Mom and I went to four different flower shops. Only one was hiring, and I asked the cashier if she could get us an application. Mom wouldn’t fill it out there, though, but she did bring it home, and I asked my father if she could work. I could tell he wasn’t the happiest about it, but I went and got him a lot of beers, and he eventually nodded.
That’s how my mom got the job. I got my father drunk enough that he gave in.
My family had been screwed up. I didn’t realize just how messed up it all was until now that I’ve gotten away from them. As much as I like to think my mom was a saint, I’m not so sure if she was. No, no, that’s terrible of me to think. She had been abused, a victim. She’s not the one to blame.
I just wish she had the strength to leave my father. That’s all. Maybe then, she would still be alive.
Probably not, though. Knowing my father, he would’ve gone after her anyhow. He would’ve hunted her down and dragged her back home.
Or else he would’ve hunted her down and killed her anyhow.
I’m fucked up because of my parents, because of my upbringing.
Brett’s the same way, I’m sure. It’s no excuse. It’s just the facts.
That’s not to say that I think all motorcycle clubs are terrible. I’m sure there are some that are great and wonderful that give back to the community.
But my father… I’m sure he didn’t use his to turn around and give to the poor. No, my father kept all of the gold for himself.
What about the other guys? Are their fathers in this Savage Reapers motorcycle club?
And what about the Mutineers? Is that the name of the club the guys have started? Are they going to form their own motorcycle club one day? Break free away from their parents?
I don't know, but learning this makes me want to get the hell out of Dodge. I do not want to be involved in motorcycle drama. Just because there's no way my father knows anything about the Savage Reapers doesn't mean that he can't one day learn about them. I'm not going to be some sort of trophy that's passed around from one club to another.
Because that’s just it. The older I got, the more my father involved me in club business. In a way, I think he was grooming me to take over for him after he died.
He had been at war with another motorcycle club whose president had a son. My father had me seduce the son. Yes, I slept with him, and then I ditched him as soon as he fell asleep even though he wanted me to stay overnight, promising me breakfast in the morning. When the other president learned we had been together, he called a truce, but I never saw the son again. I ghosted him. Like I said, I'm not proud of everything I've done for my father, and I've since learned to stand up for myself and to use my brain instead of giving my father blind devotion.
But he would have me come to the club and prop me up like I was a model or their princess or some shit like that.
My mom, though, she never came to the club. My father told me it was to protect her in case one of his enemies ever wanted to go after her. Maybe that's true, or maybe that's a crock of shit, but if that is the real reason, I guess my father didn't care if someone came after me.
Or maybe he thought I could handle it, that I would survive.
Little did he know that I would be capable of surviving him.