The cook and the maid did get married. They ended up quitting and leaving a short time after the ceremony.
I snuck out of the house when I was a teenager. What teens didn’t? I was told that attending the wedding was forbidden. My mom couldn’t go either.
I went anyhow.
And guess who else had been there?
My mom.
We pretended the other wasn’t there, but it had been wonderful. The cook and the maid… They had been in love, true love.
But I’m pretty sure they’re divorced now. My mom can’t fix everything.
She can’t fix anything anymore.
But after seeing the maid and the cook, I tried to get my parents to realize how much they loved each other.
I tried to get them to be happy together.
I tried.
And sometimes, they did seem happy together.
Other times, they wouldn’t say a word to each other.
They never fought again, not loudly as they had that one time, but I have to wonder just how happy their lives were.
In the end, I know my mom wouldn’t have changed anything. She loved me so much that she would have married my father and given birth to me all over again, even if she knew that it would mean that one day, my father would kill her.
That’s why I think love is bullshit. I’ll never have a boyfriend. I’ll never get married or have kids. This world we live in is fucked up, and I’m not about to raise a child in this hellhole.
Now, just because I won't get married doesn't mean I'm going to be celibate the rest of my life. A woman has needs, you know. Fingers and toys can only do so much.
But I’m not desperate enough to throw myself at the first guy who looks at me that way. I don’t fuck strangers.
In fact, my first lay had been a friend. My father wanted… Let’s just say that I wanted to lose my virginity to a guy I knew, so I asked Austin Warrick if he knew the ropes.
“The ropes.”
“Come on, Austin.”
“Are you talking about sex, Erika?”
I nod.
“We just turned sixteen. Isn’t that a little young—”
“You know Tammy had sex when she was fourteen.”
“I know, but you… me… We’re friends, Erika.”
"I know. I don't have a crush on you. I don't love you. I just want to know what it feels like." I lift my chin. "Would it be your first time too?"
Austin looks away. He has brown hair and dark eyes. Dark but warm eyes. Not like my father’s.
“We don’t have to.”
“I do want to know what it would be like,” he says hoarsely. “I don’t know if it’ll be any good for you.”