CHAPTER5
Eventually, a group of guys distracts Brett and Corey long enough that I'm able to slink away. I cut through the line and then up higher, moving in front of a cluster of kids that aren't paying attention. Within two minutes, I've bought some food—a cheeseburger and some fries and a bottle of water. I find a perch to stand since I don't even see the need to try to locate a seat in this massive place. How can friends find each other? Do the different cliques have "assigned" tables?
I keep an eye on the two Mutineers, just because I want to hightail it out of there if they dare to even glance this way. But they're talking, laughing, and eating now, surrounded by friends. Since they're so popular, why the hell do they feel the need to push others around? They don't need to do it to stay on top. Clearly, their perch at the top is assured. They don't have to worry about someone supplanting them.
Control. It’s all about control. We all like to think we control our destiny, that we can be anyone we want, do anything we want, but it all comes down to circumstances, and those circumstances are dictated by others. Those at the top. Those pulling the strings.
By running away, I tried to cut my strings.
Maybe I’ve just given my strings over to someone else to yank and jerk.
I never ever should have allowed Brett to touch me like that. My throat and boob burn from where I can still feel his hand. He’s making me feel like a piece of meat, a rancid one at that, something to be used, abused, and discarded.
No one deserves to be treated like this. No one. Parents always say to ignore bullies, and that’s exactly what I did, and what did I get? For the bullying to escalate from just verbal to sexual. I’m sick of guys thinking they can do and say whatever the hell they want. I know there are plenty of mean girls out there, but for right now, my issue is with the Mutineers.
Assholes.
Aggressors.
Bullies.
Tormentors.
My life is my own, and I will not allow them to dictate my actions. I will be free of them just like I’m free from my father.
The cheeseburger sits like sludge in my stomach, and I don’t bother to finish my fries. Somehow, there’s still time left in the period, but I duck out of the café from the nearest exit and hurry to my locker. Maybe I’ll have the fries for dinner tonight or save them for lunch tomorrow.
It’s hard, not knowing what tonight will bring. I’ve been living out on the street ever since I left my home.
Not my home. The house I lived in.
My prison.
I’m free now but not entirely. Brett and the Mutineers are proof of that, but that’s only a small piece of the puzzle. Living outdoors…
I just need to admit it.
I’m homeless.
But I’m still better off, and that’s what I need to focus on.
High school can be hell for a lot of kids, but it’s only temporary. Even if I can’t find a way to get Brett and the others to back off, it’ll end. I’ll survive.
They won’t kill me.
I won’t let them.
They won’t gain my fear.
I’m done being afraid.
They won’t change me.
I’m done being the worm I was under my father. I’m a goddamn butterfly, and I’m going to fly free.
The bell rings, and I have to consult my schedule. Three more classes, and then I'm outta here.
Advanced physics isn’t going to be an easy class, but the teacher seems knowledgeable, and there aren’t any Mutineers in here that I can tell.