“No?” He makes a face. “Are your parents…”
Oh, fuck. I really don’t want to hate that conversation now.
“Uh, yeah,” I mumble. “I guess you could say they’re separated. Mom wants a divorce. Father doesn’t.”
“I’m sorry. I had no idea.”
“How could you? I haven’t talked to you about my parents.”
“Your mom was on the cruise with you. Just the two of you.”
“I can’t remember if I told you I have a brother. Older. Kyle. Good guy for the most part.”
Rob strokes his chin, but he doesn’t get a chance to say what’s on his mind because a waitress comes over. We’re sitting at a booth instead of at the bar, and this time, we’re sitting on opposite sides instead of next to one another.
He gets himself a beer and a plate of load nachos. I order an Arnold Palmer.
Once the waitress walks away, I lean over the table. “Do you think I could get away with a few swigs?”
“Better not risk it.”
“Of course. I shouldn’t have asked.”
“What’s going on?” he asks. “You seem really uptight.”
I flinch and rub the back of my neck. I’m so tight that I could use a massage.
No. No massages.
But one from Rob…
Yeah, I’m not sure he’s ready for that. I feel like we took five hundred steps backward.
I swallow hard. “I’m just sorry that there seems to be a wall between us.”
"I'm sorry that you might not have felt like you can talk to me about stuff that's going on in your life. I wish you had told me about your parents before now."
“Oh, don’t worry about it. I don’t like to talk about all that.”
Rob grimaces and drums his fingers on the table. “I don’t like talking about my parents either, but I did, with you, because I want you to get to know me, but I feel like you aren’t as open with me as you could be.”
I cluck my tongue. It’s something I used to do when I was younger and was stalling so I could think of what to say. It’s maybe a defense mechanism. I don’t know.
"You want to know something not everyone realizes about me? When I was little, I was bullied a lot for my weight. My name's Katie Quake. Well, the kids had a field day with that after we learned about earthquakes in science class. When I lost weight, well, it was like I was a completely new person who was worth their time."
“I’m sorry. That sounds rough.”
"It was terrible at the time, but I made it through."
“You didn’t have to share something depressing.”
“Am I ruining the mood?” I ask, trying to sound like I’m joking, but it falls flat. Damn it. I’m blowing this.
“We’re just hanging out. Talking. That’s all. No mood.”
He sounds so nonchalant about everything. Like he doesn’t really care and isn’t interested.
I’m losing him.