“A boyfriend?” Raven scowls.
“My father.”
“Your mom is still married to him?” Jessica asks.
“Only because he hasn’t signed the paperwork.”
“Where do you live?” Raven asks.
“On campus. I go to Juniper.”
“What are you doing o do this summer?” Jessica asks.
“No idea. I’ll figure something out.”
Raven waves over a waitress and orders a brownie sundae. The waitress brings it out with three spoons, and while the other two have a few bites, they insist I eat the rest. That's when we start to talk about even more personal things, and it's freeing to talk not just about the bad but also the good. Of course, I don't mention that I slept with two of my guys, but I do tell them about how I have some great guys in my corner, and honestly, I wish they were here.
All in all, I can’t deny it. Allie’s right. A lot of the club members are hot, but I didn’t drool over any of them. I didn’t feel a pressing need to try to make sure they liked me or wanted to get into my pants. I didn’t feel anything for them, not like I did with Rob from the very beginning and not like when the other guys stopped bullying me and I got to know them better.
This isn’t a phase. This isn’t my being rebellious and trying to find worth through having as many different cocks inside me as possible.
I mean, a part of it might be my seeking validation since I never got that from my father. There’s really no denying that, but all I truly want is the chance to be with the guys, all of them, because I think that with them all, I can be happy.
But maybe that's just wishful thinking because, hell, the guys are as screwed up emotionally as I am. We all have scars.
But maybe together, we can help heal one another. We can be stronger, better, and healthier together.
Or I might doom us all because of my asshole father.
Only time will tell.