“You were? How did that happen?”
“My mom couldn’t handle her fucking grief. She couldn’t handle her grief, and in a cruel twist of fate, she turned to drugs. When Dad died because of a guy was drugged out of his mind. Can you fucking believe it?”
“That’s terrible.”
“She cared about drugs, drugs, and drugs. There wasn’t any food in the house because all of the money went to her chasing her next high. Soon enough, there wasn’t any heat or electricity or anything at all because she stopped paying our bills.” Rob grimaces. “I made the mistake of going to see her today. I hoped… Hell, I’ve been hoping for years and years now that she would get help, but I can’t force her to get better. It’s on her, but…”
“But what?” I murmur. “You’re right. There’s only so much you can do, and you had no choice but to leave her, but fifteen… Hell, Rob.”
“I had been going to a private school, but I had to switch over to public. I got a job at a restaurant, and I lived on a few couches at friends’ houses. I lied to say I had a place for cheap rent, but that didn’t become a reality until I was seventeen. Working at the restaurant was a godsend because it allowed me to be able to eat one meal a day for free.”
“Man, you were resourceful.”
“That’s one word for it.” He bitterly shakes his head.
“What pushed you to go see her?” I ask.
“I don’t know.” He won’t look at me.
“Rob, you didn’t fail her,” I say gently.
He snorts. “I abandoned her. I could’ve stuck around, could’ve made sure she had food, could’ve made her accept that she wasn’t alone in the world, but what did I do? I ran away from her as quickly as I could. I just couldn’t bear to see her wither away.”
“Rob, you are putting too much power in your hands. You aren’t the one to blame for any of this.”
“It’s inevitable.” He stares at me or, rather, through me. It’s chilling, and I shiver.
“What’s inevitable?” I whisper even though I have a feeling I’m not going to like what comes next.
“She’s going to die, just like my father. Maybe not the same way, but the end result will be the same.”
“Fuck, Rob,” I mutter.
“If I could, I would do anything and everything in my power to bring my father back, but what if… what if she still would’ve turned to drugs? What if that was always just a matter of time? What then?”
“Her actions are on her,” I say firmly. “You can’t control her, and you can’t save her from herself.”
“Fuck, Katie.” He sighs and leans against me heavily. “You should run away from me screaming. I have some serious baggage.”
I laugh, the sound a bit hysterical. “Yu want baggage? I’ll give you baggage. My mom is terrified to divorce my father, so she’s off in Europe, trying to stay as far from him as possible, but guess what? He’s found her, and I don’t think he’ll want to just bring her home. I’m afraid he’ll want to kill her, so there. How does that sound?”
“Jesus,” he mutters.
“And that’s not even all of it, but, ah, my father is the head of a motorcycle club, and…” I hesitate, not sure which details to share and which to keep hidden. “I hate my father, so…”
“You don’t like that the guys and I are in a club.”
I shrug and try to play it off as no big deal. “Your club is… It isn’t…”
“It’s small,” he says. “Not just the four of us, but it’s local, and it’s ready for the big times.”
I narrow my eyes. “What the hell does that mean?”
“It means I’m going places.” His eyes glitter darkly. “I’m going to make something of myself despite what happened to my father, despite my mom trying to kill herself daily. How she hasn’t overdosed already I don’t know, but her tolerance has to be pretty fucking high. I think she sells her body to be able to pay for all of the shit.” He cracks his knuckles. “If I could save her from herself…”
“You can’t.”
“You might not be able to save your mom either,” he says.