“I’ve never felt this way before, not with anyone else,” he says. “A part of me hates you, but another part is afraid.”
“Afraid of me?” I’m shocked.
“Yes, because I think I might be able to fall in love with you, and I’ve never allowed myself to love a girl before.”
“You’ve never said ‘I love you’ to a girl before? Why do I find that hard to believe?”
“I might’ve said it, but meaning it…”
“That’s terrible.”
“Maybe. All right, yes, it’s terrible.” He huffs a sigh. “You fuck me up in the head, Katie.”
“You fuck me upside down and sideways.”
“I would like to actually do that,” he says, his tone now eager.
I can’t help but laugh. “I don’t think so.”
“Maybe one day, you’ll change your mind.”
“Maybe. Maybe not.”
CHAPTER21
As much asI think I wouldn’t mind hanging out with Rob and trying to get to know him better, I can’t forget that he said that he doesn’t want to date me. If he doesn’t want to date me, then he doesn’t want to be with me, not fully and completely. All he wants is me, my body, not my mind.
Maybe that would be easier, to just have a relationship that is based on sex and lust and nothing more. It’s hard for me to think about guys in a favorable light right now. I used to have a fair number of guys who were friends back in high school, but all of my new college friends are all female. I don’t know if it’s because my father has made me lose faith in guys, or maybe that’s some of it, and the rest is because of my being bullied. Whichever the case, I’m not desperate enough to be with a guy that I will except what Rob’s offering.
“I know how it sounds, but if you want to just come over and watch Netflix with me…” Rob suggests.
“Netflix and chill? I don’t think so.”
“I’m serious,” he protests. “It doesn’t have to be anything more than that. Just watching a movie or bingeing a TV show. What do you like?”
“How about Fatal Attraction?”
“Isn’t that the one where the guy cheats and the woman goes insane and tries to kill him?”
“Yep.”
“Why that one?” he asks.
“Why not? Or don’t you want to watch it?”
“We can watch it.”
“Nah.”
“You’re impossible,” he groans.
“I’m not coming over,” I whisper.
“I figured as much. Somehow, with you, I manage to screw everything up.”
“Not quite,” I murmur.
“When didn’t I?”