“So we can fuck? No thanks.”
“So we can talk.”
He steps back and shuts the door, leaving me all alone with one phrase of his echoing in my mind over and over.
You denied more than just me. You denied yourself. Why?
As much as I hate to admit it, he’s right. I did deny myself. As to why, I think fear held me back.
I’m damaged. My father destroyed my trust in all men. Given how Rob’s friends have been treating me and Rob’s refusal to do anything about it, how can I give Rob another chance? I was right to deny him.
Yet, a part of me still wants hm.
The way he talked about consent and being willing to spank or not depending on my wants… the way he looked at me… that grin and even that infuriating smirk of his…
All I can say is that I hope he stays away from me because I will not be seeking him out again.
I can’t, not if I want to stay out of his bed because I think he just might be my Kryptonite, and right now, I can’t afford to be weak.
CHAPTER12
In early October,there’s a short break. No classes for an extended weekend. Awesome, right? Seriously. And it won’t just be a break from classes and schoolwork for me. Nope. I’m going to get the hell out of here. I need the time away.
Because even though I spoke with Rob, I had a feeling that the bullying wouldn’t stop any, and I was right. The bullying didn’t stop, and what’s more is that Rob joined in somewhat. He was never crude outright, but he would make comments about our one time together, always speaking loudly enough for others to hear.
Interestingly enough, Robyn told me that there was a sophomore who Rob punched right in the face, breaking his nose. I had been so surprised to hear that because I didn’t think of Rob as a violent guy, but it just goes to show that you can’t really know a person.
Except Robyn then said that the sophomore had apparently made some kind of comment about me. She either hadn’t heard what the guy said or else she didn’t want me to hear it because it was that bad, but Rob took exception to it.
I don’t know how to feel about that. He’s okay with bullying me, letting his friends do it, but if someone else does, that’s crossing a line? Whatever. I don’t have to deal with them right now because my college isn’t the only one to have a break right now. So does Erika’s.
Her campus is just as big and sprawling as mine is, but she doesn’t live there. They have an apartment, and by the time I climb out of my car, Erika is already flying out of the front door and hurrying over.
“Katie!” She barrels into me, her black hair flying everywhere.
“Erika!” I squeeze her tightly. “I’m so glad you invited me.”
“Of course! Come in, come in! I can’t wait for you to meet everyone!”
My eyes are huge. “The guys… your guys… they’re all here?”
“Yes. Where else would they be?”
“Oh, I don’t know. I thought we might be able to talk a bit alone first.”
Erika blinks a few times and tilts her head to the side, appraising me. “Do we need to talk alone first?” she asks, dropping her tone and talking in a near whisper. “If you do, that’s not a problem at all. We can hop in my car and I’ll drive us around. I’m sure you’re sick of sitting in your car and driving.”
I force a smile. “Nah, it’s all right—”
“No. If you want us to have some alone time to talk about whatever’s going on…” She hugs me again and whispers in my ear, “Is it your father? Your mom?”
“No. It’s nothing. I just don’t know if I can handle being shoved into a tiny apartment room with four guys who all love and adore you,” I tease. “I mean, it’s crazy to think about you and four guys…”
“I know,” she all but wails. “There are times when I can’t believe it myself. I mean, there are people out there who haven’t found love at all, not even from one person. I never expected this to happen to me, and I have to pinch myself all the time, but are you sure? I mean, we can wait for the introductions until later.”
I shake my head. “We don’t need to wait for that.”
“Are you positive?”