I cringe.
“Spare me the details, please. Why are you telling me this anyways?”
“Right,” he says. “Sorry.”
Marcus walks towards the window and stares outside. The view from my apartment isn’t great, but he doesn’t look away. “I love you, Kelsey.”
I swallow hard, nodding. But that doesn’t change the fact that I’m pregnant with my brother in law’s baby. Marcus continues to watch the concrete walls of the next apartment building, and I step in to fill the void.
“You love sex,” I say. “You don’t love me.”
At this, he turns. He crosses the room quickly and kneels in front of me. “You’re wrong about that,” he says, blue eyes fierce. “I do love you. Being with you makes me finally feel like I really know what love is.”
I gulp again.
“You loved Jane.”
He nods with frustration.
“Of course I did. But this is a different kind of love. It’s a scary, passionate, strong love. When you leave my bed after a night together, I can feel the loss so deep that I can’t breathe. Leaving your bed is like pulling apart two magnets that want to stay together. It’s nearly impossible. I do it because I never wanted to scare you away.”
“You couldn’t scare me away if you tried,” I tell him. “Seeing you with Jane always killed me inside. I thought she was the luckiest girl in the world because she was with the most attractive, charismatic guy I’d ever met.”
Marcus smiles and kisses me. It’s sweet and soft like so many of our kisses have been over the last six months. And today is the day I’ve learned just how naïve I am. Marcus has loved me all along, at least for as long as we’ve been sleeping together. I was just too blind to see it in the way he touched me, the way he kissed me, and in the way we made love.
Finally, the dam bursts open.
“I love you, too,” I tell him, the words erupting from my lips. He kisses me again, this time harder and with more passion. He moans against my mouth.
“Say it again, sweetheart. I need to hear it.”
I pull him closer, letting my eyes meet that blazing blue.
“I love you Marcus. I love all of you, with all of my heart.” I take a deep breath. “And I don’t care what anyone says anymore. We need to pursue what makes us happy, and what makes me happy is you.”
He kisses me so deeply then that my soul feels like it’s being reborn. When we finally pull apart, Marcus’s face is filled with wonder. I’m sure my expression matches his.
“Can I tell you something?”
I giggle. “Of course you can.”
“When you told me you were pregnant, I’ve never been happier in my entire life.”
My face falls. That’s the last thing I expected. He’s happy that I’m pregnant? How can that be? This is a terrible thing! We’re not supposed to be having sex, let alone raising a child. He’s my brother in law, for crying out loud!
“But see, Marcus, that’s the thing,” I begin slowly. “We’re in love, but that doesn’t mean the world’s ready to accept either us or our baby.”
“No, hear me out,” he demands fiercely. “This is important. I always wanted kids, but like I told you, there was no way Jane was getting pregnant given her problems. I figured someday we could get beyond her sickness and start a family. Maybe even adopt if things didn’t go well. Now, you’re here and you’re pregnant with my child. I’m finally going to be the father I’ve wanted to be my entire life.”
My heart slows to a stop.
“Marcus, what are you saying?”
“Trust me, I know this is crazy. I know that we’re going to get nasty looks when we walk down the street. I know your family will be pissed. We’ll probably be the talk of the town. But I don’t care. To hell with all of them. I love you, and I want this child. With you, baby. I want us to raise him or her together.”
My heart speeds up once again. Being around Marcus is like cardio. Who needs a gym when you’ve got a man like him? I’m sure we’ve burned quite a few calories together in the bedroom. No wonder he’s so ripped.
“Have the baby,” Marcus says. His voice is low and persuasive. Meant only for me to hear. “Let’s have this baby together. We can raise him or her and be a family. You and me and our child. We’re perfect, for real. We can do it. If anyone in the world can do it, it’s us.”
My mind is racing. I search Marcus’s eyes for any hints of a joke, but they’re steady on mine. He’s in this without any doubts or hesitations.
And suddenly, I realize I am too. I couldn’t have gotten rid of the baby. Nothing is that simple. No matter what people are going to say about us or the looks we’re going to get, I want to have Marcus’s child desperately. Maybe I’ve wanted this all along.