“Kelsey,” I try, but it’s useless. She leaves the room without another word, closing the door softly behind her. That’s the worst part. I wish she’d slammed it, but she didn’t. Instead, the woman leaves calmly, like she knows her place in the world. And that’s what scares me. Convincing her to change her mind might be impossible.
But the prospect of being a father dwarfs all else. Because I desperately wanted to be a dad when I was married, but Jane was infertile due to her sickness. She wasn’t getting her periods anymore, and we weren’t having sex either. So that was a dead-end.
But now the heavens have opened and I’ve been given a chance. A baby has been conceived from my virile sperm and plenty of hard fucking. A baby conceived from love. So I have to talk to Kelsey. I don’t know if she’ll let me into her life again or if she’ll agree to my offer, but I’m going to try.
I love that woman, and as messed up as the circumstances are, I want her to have my baby … because I want us to be a family.
Chapter Twelve
Kelsey
Back at my apartment, I fall against my couch and sob into a throw pillow. What a mess we’ve made!
Maybe I shouldn’t have run off on Marcus that way, but I couldn’t listen to him rationalize things anymore. We can’t have this baby. I don’t understand how he could be so blind to the consequences if we tried to go public with our little problem.
Still, I hold my stomach with both hands. I’m only a few weeks along, so the baby inside of me is tiny. I can’t feel a kick or a heartbeat and my stomach hasn’t grown at all. Despite all that, something inside me feels different. I’ve heard mothers say that they knew they were pregnant just by how they felt. I didn’t believe them until now.
A knock on my door steals me from that pleasant thought. When I open it, I’m surprised to find Marcus pushing the door open with a bouquet of flowers in his hands. He’s so handsome and imposing, even during these dark times. But what’s going on? It’s been barely ten minutes since I escaped his office. How has he had time to buy flowers?
“I want to talk,” he begins. “That baby is mine too. I should have a say in what happens. I at least deserve a conversation.”
Too exhausted to fight him, I let Marcus into my apartment. The last time he was here was last night when we were making love in my bedroom. I wish things could still be as simple now as they were then.
“Okay,” I say. “You want to talk? Then talk. I don’t think anything you say will convince me that this baby is a good idea, but you’re welcome to try.”
Marcus takes a deep breath, as if bracing for a hurricane. “I think we should keep the baby.”
I laugh. “Is that your big speech? Come on, Marcus. You had my sister as your wife and you never started a family with her. Jane would have been a great mother. Why would you suddenly decide to be a father to this baby?”
He pauses, blue eyes shuttered.
“There are things about Jane you don’t know,” he says. “Our relationship was much more complicated than you realize.”
I roll my eyes. As if. Janie was the golden child. A stay at home wife. She was the perfect person to have babies with, but they never did. Plus, as kids she used to talk about being a mom, which leads me to believe it was Marcus’s fault they never had children. For a long time I thought maybe he was sterile, but the baby inside me proves that’s not true. I haven’t slept with anyone but Marcus in over a year.
So I snort rudely.
“Yeah, right. The perfect couple had problems. What, she didn’t like the cologne you wore? You thought she spent too much time with the ladies from the country club? Poor you.”
Marcus’s patrician nostrils flare in anger. “You don’t know what you’re talking about,” he says through gritted teeth.
“Sure, I do. I watched you and Jane being a loving and amazing couple. If there was something wrong, she would have told me. I know we weren’t that close but I loved her and she loved me. My sister confided in me all the time.”
He takes a breath. His eyes flash like he’s trying to decide if he should say something or leave. At this point, I wish he would just leave. This decision is hard enough without him trying to change my mind. Maybe I shouldn’t have even told him about the baby. He’d be none the wiser and I could be free and clear of our little problem.