Suddenly, my baby’s soft cries are coming through the monitor again. My little boy clearly knows he’s going to be left with a stranger, so he’s calling for my attention as much as he can before the babysitter arrives. But before I can rush out to check up on him, my doorbell rings. A quick glance at my phone tells me it’s the babysitter, right on time. I walk quickly to the door to let her in.
“Hi, Katie,” the sitter says cheerfully. “You look beautiful.”
Jessica’s no older than nineteen, but she’s responsible and loves kids. She’s already met Trentie a few times because I had to be sure they would be a good fit before leaving her with my son for the entire night. Thankfully, he didn’t scream in her arms, and her references were stellar. If things work out tonight, I might consider hiring her on as a nanny, or at the very least my go-to babysitter.
“Thanks,” I say, smiling. “And thank you so much for coming over last minute to watch Trentie.”
Jessica grins back. “It’s no trouble at all. Where is the little guy?”
I lead her down to his room and thankfully, he’s already calmed himself down in his crib and is back to sleeping. We exchange a relieved smile and go back out to the living room.
“I should go get my shoes and purse,” I tell Jessica. “I’ll just be a second.”
Back in my room, I steal a glance at myself in my full-length mirror. I still look like the woman I was a year ago, the woman who discovered she was pregnant and couldn’t contact the man who knocked her up. But I’ve changed so much since then. Having Trentie changed me for the better.
I slip on my heels, grab my purse, and meet Jessica back in the nursery. She’s rocking the baby in her arms and he’s smiling at her, making nonsensical noises and blowing spit bubbles. My body relaxes slightly, reassured that he’ll be okay under her care.
But even so, I have the urge to snatch my baby from her arms and just stay with him all night. I sigh, knowing that if I don’t leave now, I may never make it out the door. I tell myself that the space will be good for both of us, and that I have to leave eventually.
Jessica holds my child out to me, sensing my need to hold him once more before I go. I kiss the top of his sweet head and tell him I love him. He coos into my neck, sucking his little thumb. A tear falls from my eye as I hand him back to his babysitter.
“All of my contact information is on the fridge,” I tell her, though I know she knows all of this already. “My phone is on, and I’ll be back in a flash if you need me.”
Jessica smiles kindly, her eyes understanding. “It’ll be okay, Katie. Go to work. I’ve got this.”
I hesitate, stroking Trentie’s soft, downy head. Realizing how silly I’m being, I give her an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry, Jessica, I’m just attached and I’ve never been away from him for so long and I just don’t want anything to—”
Jessica interrupts gently, putting a reassuring hand on my arm. “Don’t worry Katie, nothing’s going to happen. Go on out before you’re late—and have fun! We’ll be fine here.”
With a sigh, I pull myself away from the sweet little boy and march out my door before I can change my mind for the millionth time.
Once I shut my apartment door behind me, I lean my back against it and take a few deep breaths. The hardest part is over. My child is in capable hands with a responsible sitter. I just have to make it through the night and then I can come back and hold him again.
With one last deep breath, I step out of the apartment building and walk over to my car. The urge to turn around is strong, but I ignore it. I’ve had five months of nothing but baby time. It’s important to get back to work because the money won’t make itself. I’ve been on leave long enough.
Turning on the engine, I pull the little hatchback out on the road and follow my phone GPS to The Seasons. It’s a swanky hotel known for its famous clientele and hip interior décor. We’ve done a few events here, but none with such a large guest list. Whoever is hosting this party is certainly trying to impress a lot of very important people. In fact, this party rivals the one Trent hosted the night we met, but I shake that thought quickly from my head. That’s over and done with.
Before I know it, I’m pulling my car into the employee parking lot at the back of the hotel, and then I make my way through a maze of hallways until finally, I’m at the ballroom.