“Maybe nothing,” I said, cutting her off. “We’re friends and that’s all we’ll ever be. He doesn’t see me as anything more than that.” I shot her a look that said I was done talking aboutit.
She held her hands up. “Okay. I don’t agree, but I’ll dropit.”
“Thank you,” I told her. “Now let’sdance.”
We spent the next hour or so dancing and chatting. When a slow song came on, I gestured that we should head back to the table. She nodded and we began making our way through the crowds, only to be confronted with Mason, who was seeking Lib out for a dance. I turned and smiled at her as I watched him scoop her up in his arms and kiss her. Turning around, I bumped into a hard chest. Arms circled my waist and I looked up to see Josh looking down at me. “Dance with me?” he asked, pulling me closer tohim.
“Erm…what about Beth? Shouldn’t you be dancing with her?” I asked, feeling torn about wanting to dance with him but knowing I’d probably regret itlater.
“I don’t want to dance with Beth. I want to dance with you,” he whispered in my ear. My stomach fluttered with what felt like a million butterflies and my heart began to race. “Plus, she’s talking to Brody,” headded.
My stomach dropped, and it felt like he’d reached into my chest and torn my heart out. “So, I’m second choice then?” I asked angrily, pushing my way out of his hold. He grabbed my hand while the fingers of his other hand lifted my chin so I was looking athim.
“No Savannah,” he said, holding my gaze. “I could have asked Beth to dance, but I wanted to askyou.”
“Why Josh? Why now? You’ve never wanted to dance with mebefore.”
“Does there have to be a reason? Just dance with me Sav.” His eyes were pleading, and I sigheddeeply.
“Okay,” I said, moving toward him, hesitating before resting my head against his chest and closing my eyes. I felt Josh’s arms wrap around me and we slowly swayed to the music. My heart was pounding in my chest and nerves were bubbling in my stomach. I’d imagined this moment over and over in my head, my imagination not living up to the reality. After a few awkward seconds, I managed to relax and sagged against him, making the most of being in his arms. All too soon, the song was over, and I went to step out of hisembrace.
His arms gripped me tighter and he lowered his mouth to my ear. “Thank you,” he whispered, his breath warm against my skin. “You are never second choice Sav, never. You deserve the best.” I felt him brush his lips just under my ear and a moan escaped my lips. Embarrassed, I pulled out of his arms and stepped away from him. “Savannah, what’s wrong?” he shouted over the noise of thebar.
I continued backing away slowly. “I can’t do thisJosh.”
“Do what?” he asked, his eyebrows pulled together in afrown.
“This,” I said, gesturing between us with my hand. I took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “You know how I feel about you.” I felt my face flush with heat at my admission. “Of course I want you to wrap me in your arms and whisper in my ear, but what you want and what I want are two very different things. You’re right, I do deserve the best, and I can’t keep letting myself get hurt. I’ve got someone other than me to think about now.” I placed my hand on my stomach and watched as his eyes followed my gesture. When he didn’t say anything, I tried to move past him, but he put his hand out to stopme.
“Savannah, wait…” I stopped and looked down at the floor. “Look at me, please,” he said, waiting until my eyes met his. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to keep hurting you. That’s the last thing Iwant.”
I stared at him. This seemed like as good a time as any to find out exactly what it was that he did want; I was getting tired of the back and forth with him. “Whatdoyou wantJosh?”
He moved his hand off my arm and dragged it through his hair, sighing loudly. “I don’t know Sav, it’scomplicated.”
“It doesn’t have to be complicated,” I told him, hope erupting inside me upon hearing hiswords.
“There are things you don’t know, things I haven’t told you. I’m not what youneed.”
“Don’t you think that’s for me to decide? Is this because you think Brody won’t approve? He knows how I feel aboutyou.”
“How does heknow?”
“I had to tellhim.”
“When?” he askedangrily.
I put my hands on my hips and frowned at him. “When you stormed out of the cottage, leaving me in tears and Brody wondering why I was so upset. He thought the baby was yours!” Iexclaimed.
“Oh God, I never meant to make you cry Sav,” he said, reaching forme.
I took a step back so I was out of his reach. “It wasn’t the first time, Josh, and I’m guessing it won’t be the last,” I sassed back at him, knowing I was being a bitch. I watched as he closed his eyes and dropped hishead.
“Brody thought the baby was mine?” he asked, shaking his head before letting out a smalllaugh.
“I’m glad you think sleeping with me is so funny,” I shouted, pushing against his shoulder and storming across the dancefloor.
“Savannah, wait.” I heard him shout behind me but I hurried through the crowds, anger bubbling in my stomach. I suddenly stopped—why was I the one leaving? He’d showed up onmynight out, so he should be the one to leave. I’d come to dance, and that was exactly what I was going to do. I spun around and started making my way back to Libby and Mason. The music had changed and people were no longer slowdancing.