Now she girded herself against the possibility he’d hurt her.
He was still all face on her screen. His eyes had dropped a bit, focused elsewhere on his screen. Lyra tried to add an extra layer of armor as she saw his answer wouldn’t be quick and happy.
“Lyra ...” he began, and in that space where he faded out, like he didn’t know how to say the next words, her heart began to sag. She changed position again, sitting back, drawing the cover over and tucking it across her chest.
“It’s okay. I was just—”
“Lyra!”
His sharp tone stopped her before a babble could start. She closed her mouth and waited for the blow he was about to deal her.
“I want to be with you. I want the answer to your question to be yes. And I’ll be back in Laughlin, hopefully real soon. I’m planning to help with the charter, and I’ll be there for a while. Months, maybe. I want to spend that time with you. Every fucking minute I can. But ...”
“But really you live a thousand miles away.” Though his mutual interest eased it a bit, the hurt was still real.
“Yeah. I don’t know about the long distance thing. Tonight was hot as fuck, but I think it would drive me insane if it was all we had.”
She agreed. As amazing as this had been, she’d have much preferred his touch to her own. She wanted to feel the weight of him, the heat of him. She wanted his arms around her when she was tired or sad or just wanted to be close.
“No chance you could stay here? Be a Laughlin Bull and not a Tulsa Bull?”
“Maybe? I don’t know. But my family is here, and ... it’s complicated. It would break my mom’s heart if I moved away for real. And I figure that’s the same with you and your dad.”
It was. Maybe not with her mom; things between them were still stilted and chilly. More so, in fact. Wade was still in the picture, and Lyra had told her mom she wouldn’t be around him anymore, so ... yeah. Her mom’s heart might not be so broken if Lyra moved away. But Pop would be lost.
“Yeah. It is.”
“Yeah,” he sighed. “Should we ...” He paused, and the silence stretched until he sighed again, a deeper, sadder one. “Should we stop this, then?”
“No,” Lyra said right away. “I want to be with you. Now and when you get back here. I don’t want to not have any part of something good because I’m afraid it might not last.”
He smiled. “Same. That’s good. ‘Cause Ireallylike you, Ly.”
“I really like you, too. But ...”
“Yeah?”
“I ... I’d hate it if you were fucking other girls. I’m not okay with sharing. It’d drive me crazy.” She had more to say, but he was laughing. “Why’s that funny?”
“It’s not. It’s just ... I can’t get you out of my head enough to get up for anybody else. I haven’t fucked anybody but my hand since I met you.”
Yep. Zach Jessup was basically perfect.
CHAPTER ELEVEN