“Drop it,” I snapped.
“Suit yourself,” she said with a shrug before she led Squirrel off.
“Prospect, grab me another one.” I held up my now empty bottle.
He handed me a fresh one, and I got off my stool. “I’m going to my room. Might hit the gym.”
Voodoo nodded, and I walked off. As I trudged up the stairs, I cast a glance down and caught Soleil staring at me. I expected her to avert her gaze, but she held steady until I reached the top and finally broke contact to go down the hall.
In my room, I emptied my pockets and hung up my cut.
After I stretched, I gripped my T-shirt at the back of my neck and ripped it over my head. Then I tossed it to the overflowing basket.
A gasp made me pivot.
Wide-eyed, Soleil stood in my doorway. From her horrified expression, I knew she had seen the scars on my back. They were the only injuries that had left a mark—my constant reminder of what I’d lost.
“I-I knocked, but y-y-you didn’t…. Um, I shouldn’t have…. Shit,” she stammered and stumbled over her words. Those mesmerizing eyes raked over my torso, and I flexed as if her fingers had trailed in their wake. Maybe because her touch was burned into my memory, and I knew exactly what it would feel like.
A small voice told me I should put a shirt on, yet I didn’t.
“You shouldn’t be in here,” I warned, my one concession to that little voice. Yet despite my warning, I moved closer. Yearning burned under my skin and sent prickles of awareness clean down to my toes.
“I need to talk to you,” she boldly announced as she lifted her softly pointed chin.
“And it can’t wait until tomorrow?” I countered. It had been a long fucking day, and I wasn’t sure I had it in me to leave her alone. Inside, I thrashed in rebellion at my words. Unfortunately, my cock had a mind of its own, and it stiffened behind my zipper. As it throbbed almost painfully, I fought the need to adjust it. As if she could sense the slight movement, her attention dropped to the bulge in my pants. When her pink tongue darted out to wet her lower lip, I practically lost my damn mind.
Heart thumping wildly, I was ready to rip her clothes off, but I miraculously held myself back.
“Soleil, you don’t know what you’re doing. You’ve been through a lot, and this is the last place you need to be,” I tried again.
“Are you afraid of me?” She cocked a slender brow as she waited for my answer.
“Jesus, Soleil, no. I’m not afraid of you, but you were kidnapped. You were on the verge of being trafficked. This just isn’t a good idea for you mentally,” I explained, though my heart was punching my ribcage in disagreement. Worrying about what she might’ve been through left me with a heavy dose of hesitation.
“That’s what you’re worried about? Sabre, I’ve had months of counseling. They didn’t touch me other than to strip my clothes from me and keep me in that room with those other women as if we were cattle. No, it wasn’t a normal experience, and it was certainly traumatic, but I have more anxiety over not remembering a damn thing about myself,” she snapped as she took a step closer.
“You don’t know what you’re doing.”
“Maybe I know exactly what I’m doing,” she whispered as her chest rose with her deep inhale.
“I don’t think you do,” I muttered, trying my damnedest not to stare at the way her nipples pebbled and showed through the obviously thin bra and shirt. Fuck, was she trying to kill me?
“You think I don’t know what sex is? Because I can assure you, I do. I may not know my fucking name, where I came from, or anything about my life, but I’m not a virgin,” she snarled as her eyes flashed green fire.
Her feistiness made my dick hard like nothing else. I knew better than anyone that she wasn’t a virgin.
“Soleil,” I weakly argued, but my resolve was wavering.
She advanced on me. “I see how you look at me.”
I held my ground, but inside I was torn. The part of my soul that fit with hers lashed at its tethers and cried out for her, but the guilt from the consequences of our past actions held me back.
“This isn’t a good idea,” I argued, though it sounded empty even to me. After all, if this wasn’t what I’d hoped for, why had I put her in the room right next to mine when there were four others available? I tried to tell myself it was only to keep her safe, but that was a crock of shit.
“Why not? Am I married?” she demanded, and agony ripped through me, followed closely by shock. My stomach churned. Fuck, I’d forgotten about that possibility. Just because I never settled down didn’t mean she hadn’t.
If she’d been wandering as long as I had. She could’ve gotten married numerous times. Or at the very least had other partners. My stomach cramped and my chest seized at the thought of someone else’s hands on her. Then I shook myself because I’d had enough angry hate-fucks over the years that I had no business feeling like she had no right to the same. Except I hoped she hadn’t been living with the same self-loathing I had all this time. Maybe her memory loss was a godsend.