“Thank you.” I sniffled as I fought like hell to dry up my tears. He held me tighter and patted my back.
“That’s what I’m here for,” he said into my hot mess of hair.
“At least things are looking up,” I said with a wobbly smile.
Dad and I had been working on repairing our relationship. The one my mother had tried to destroy. We’d gotten a lot closer over the last couple of years, but we hadn’t really discussed the past.
“Dammit, sweetheart. I’m so sorry, I don’t know what to say. Why didn’t you at least tell me you were here?” my father asked as he brought me a mug of coffee exactly the way I liked it. Rich and black. No sugar or cream to demolish the flavor of the beans.
“With everything that was going on, it was a mess, and I didn’t want to pull you into it. I was hoping it would blow over; instead it got worse.” I took a shuddering inhale, sighed as I took a sip, then set it on the coffee table. No matter how good it tasted, anything I put in my stomach was making me sick.
“Thank God Trace is safe now. And poor Jasmine. I wish you had come to me. Maybe I could’ve protected you and Trace better. Done something.” His shoulders sagged. I didn’t have the heart to tell him I was in a compound full of badasses and someone connected to my mother had still gotten to my family. It was unlikely he could’ve done a better job.
“No. Honestly, I doubt there was anything you could’ve done. Don’t beat yourself up. Trust me, I did enough of that to myself. Anyway,” I said, changing the subject, “Now that Trace is safe and Angel is working, I needed to get out. I felt like I was climbing the walls, and I needed to see you. After Mother stopped by and pulled her shit, I almost lost my mind. I’ll never understand her.” I buried my face in my hands with a heaving sigh.
He moved to sit by me as he wrapped me in a hug. When he didn’t say anything else, I lifted my head and looked at him as I tried not to start sobbing again. Being in my dad’s home was making me emotional as hell.
“What did she do?” Anger simmered in his eyes as he waited for my reply.
“Besides being a manipulative witch? I believe she’s responsible for Trace being taken,” I said with a catch in my voice. No matter how much of a self-serving bitch my mother had been and how many times she’d shown her true colors, I still couldn’t believe she could be so heartlessly evil.
“Jesus fucking Christ,” my father muttered, then immediately continued with, “What do you need me to do? Name it, and I’ll do everything in my power.”
“Honestly, I’m not sure. But like I said, I needed to see you. It’s been too long for one, and for another—well, I needed answers. Some things began to click with me when my mother was spewing her hatred. It raised some questions that I hadn’t considered before.”
He exhaled heavily, as if he knew what was coming, before leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees. “Okay. What do you want to know?”
“Why did Mom leave you?”
He choked on a humorless laugh. “That’s a bit of a loaded question. And it’s complicated.”
“So enlighten me. Or would you like me to guess?”
“Regardless of my feelings for her, I don’t like speaking ill of her. She’s still your mother, regardless of what else she is.”
“Well, she’s not much of a mother. Humor me,” I deadpanned.
He sighed. “It started years before we split. I refused to back her bid for higher politics. She got hateful. We began to argue a lot.” Covering his face, he groaned. “She was having affairs, and though in her mind it was okay for her, it wasn’t okay for me. To top it off, I was an idiot. Weak. I screwed up.”
Though I was pretty sure I knew what was coming, I wanted to hear him say it.
His hands dropped from his face and he gazed at me in shame. “Besides being wrong, I fell in love with my mistress. It’s not something I’m proud of, and I shouldn’t have touched her. She was the last person I should’ve had an affair with, but we were both hurting. This will sound clichéd, but I never meant for it to happen, and I certainly never thought I’d fall in love.” He closed his eyes, and inside I could hear the words before they came out.
“Dad? Was it Angeline?” I asked softly as a tear slipped down his face.
He nodded, and my heart sank. Fucking hell. My father had an affair with Angel’s mother for over ten years. Though I’d had suspicions after my mother’s hateful words, I was reeling.
Opening his eyes, he balefully returned my gaze. “She was finally going to leave him. She’d tried several times over the years, but he always seemed to know and stopped her. I’d been begging her—offered to get her and the children out of town and help her file for the divorce. She’d finally agreed to do it. Jude and Jasmine were grown by then. I wanted to be there, but she said it would only make things worse. I should’ve insisted.”
“That was the day she died, wasn’t it?” I asked, my heart breaking for the tragedy of it all.
“Yes,” he whispered.
“And it was the day you had your heart attack too,” I said, now understanding that her death was what had caused it—a literal broken heart.
He nodded sadly.
“I’m not guilty about loving her, Korrie,” he said as his hazel eyes blinked away his tears. “But I’ll take the blame for her death to my grave.”