“Everything you’ve done for me?”
“Exactly. Do you know how many other guys would let you sit in bed, sleeping off a pathetic hangover all day, bending backwards just to make things easier on you because you keep freaking out over the sun?”
My already hurting head throbs, my eyes burn with the need to shed defunct tears. “Just leave.”
“Whatever.” He takes a few steps, then turns back toward me. “While I’m gone enjoying this vacation, why don’t you remember that I’m the best you’ll ever get. No other guy is ever going to put up with all your imaginary bullshit.”
All the pain inside me seems to amplify. Yet, a new ache inside my chest, like someone ripped my heart in half, threatens to engulf me. “Leave the room key here. If you’re so worried about not having a girlfriend by your side, find a new one.” Without waiting to see if he responds, I lie back down in the bed, roll over, and pull the covers over my head.
A few seconds later, the door slams shut. Miraculously, my tears start flowing.
Today can suck it. This entire trip can suck it. I can’t keep trying to be normal.
I’m not normal.
“So, why don’t you dateanymore?” Vivian asks an hour later as we stroll along the beach toward my home.
I shrug, swaying my shoes in my hand with every step as I take in the beautiful sunset. It no longer burns to look into the sky, but my eyes still ache enough from earlier. “There’s just no point.”
“Oh, come on. What happened with that guy you were dating in college? You seemed pretty steady. What was his name? Dale . . . Dan . . .”
“Don,” I correct her, opening the fence to my yard. “It just,” I drop my shoes on the porch with my purse, hat, and old crushed dreams, “it didn’t work out.”I didn’t work out.
“Really? I thought you’d get married right after we graduated.”
“Yeah, back then so did I.” I head around my patio toward the outdoor shower and turn on the water. “But I guess I wasn’t what he was looking for.”
Viv’s shoulders sag. “Honey, I’m so sorry . . . I,” she pauses by the front door, “let me make you some tea or dinner. Or whatever you want. We can just stay in tonight.”
“It was a long time ago.” I force a smile. “I’m fine, but don’t think you’re going in my house with all that sand on your feet.”
She glances down and laughs. “You live on the beach.”
“That doesn’t mean I need it in my house. Seriously, you’re showering after I’m done. There are plenty of towels and anything you need out here. Then maybe we can order delivery and chill the rest of the night.” My smile’s genuine as I slip behind the teak fence for my outdoor shower and slip my dress off.
A guilt free night in. That’s exactly what I need. I try not to think about what prompted Viv’s change of heart or how right Don proved to be as I step into the hot spray and let the water drown out my worries.
Tomorrow, I’ll hurt. I can already feel the pain starting. Tonight, I’ll pay for the sunshine from earlier. But for the next hour or so, I know Viv’s going to be there, that I’m not all alone, a leper forced to live on the outskirts of society because I can’t fit in.
Chapter 4
Breckin
Pulling the plasticsheeting aside, I survey the progress. It’s only the second day of our renovation, and it already looks completely different. What was once our living room and bedrooms, now looks like a tornado flew through the house.