“Yes,” Brendan insists. “Ooh, look, basketball.”
Their brotherly quarreling and competition continues until we’ve played nearly every single game. I’ve never laughed so hard in my life. It doesn't matter that I’m horrible at pretty much all of them, listening to their playful banter is enough, not to mention, I get all the prizes they win as well as good luck kisses and hugs.
Halfway through, I start giving away my toys to random little kids I see walking around with none. By the time they finish with the ring toss, I’m down to only the giant teddy bear. That’s mine. I’m keeping it forever.
Bright lights from all the games and carnival rides light up the dark sky as we stroll through the still thick crowd, like hundreds of tiny, round stars. It’s romantic, like those old fashioned movies.
We walk for a little bit when Breckin stops in front of a giant Ferris Wheel. “Do you like rides?”
“I used to.” Like everything else, that’s something I haven’t done in years, not since I started getting sick.
“Come on, Prude,” Brendan grabs my hand, dragging toward the line, “we’ve gotta do this.”
I nearly drop my bear, but manage to hold onto the giant thing as we hurry to the back of the line.
“Is there anything else you haven’t done here?” Breckin asks as we inch our way toward the lit up circle.
Swaying side to side, I try to think. There’s so much that I haven’t done, so much that I’d given up on, hoping for a cure so I could live, when all along, I just needed someone or two someones to show me that I could still live.
“Right now,” I smile, resting my chin on my fluffy prize, “just this.” This is what I need, my two men and this amazing night.
When we reach the front, a friendly man holds the long metal seat steady for us to climb in. I sit in the middle, hugging my bear while Brendan and Breckin plop down on either side of me. The operator lowers the guard, and we glide into the sky.
Once we reach the top of the Ferris Wheel, it stops. We rock in our little cocoon at the top of the world, surrounded only by the stars.
“It’s beautiful,” I whisper into the night.
Breckin brushes my hair out of my face. “Yes, you are.”
I sway my feet, relishing the slight breeze as he caresses my chin.
“Asra,” he gazes deep into my eyes, whispering as small fireworks dot the coastal sky below us, “I love you.”
With his other arm wrapped around me, I feel every ounce of his words. I swallow.
“You fuck-wad,” Brendan groans from my other side, “you just had to say it first, huh? Couldn’t stick toyourplan. Mr. I Over Plan Everything just couldn’t wait.”
Letting go of me, Breckin slaps his brother upside the head. Our cart sways, my breath catching with the jerky movement. “You’re honestly trying to ruin this?”
“Ruin what? You trying to make this all about you?” They glare at each other over my head.
I glance side to side at both of them, then burst out laughing. “I love you, both.”
“You do?” They both freeze.
A cocky grin fills Brendan’s face. “But you fell in love with me first, right?”
“Seriously?” Breckin hits him again.
“It’s okay,” he ignores his brother, his bright blue eyes shining into mine like night lights even in the darkness surrounding us, “we don’t have to tell him. It can be our little secret. But it was me, right? I’m the one you fell for first?”
I laugh harder. But I can’t remember who I fell for first or even when I realized I was in love with them. It was always both of them.
Before I can answer, his lips capture mine. It’s possessive, filled with all the words we have yet to say to each other. When we break for air, all traces of humor have lost his face. “I love you, Asra. It doesn’t matter who said it first, just know that I do love you.”
In his eyes, I see it all. I’m not the fragile girl they pity and protect because I’m sick. I’m the woman they choose to care for because they cannot live without me. It’s us three. It doesn’t make sense, but somehow I can feel it, it was always supposed to be us three.
My chest swells.