The only person who hasn’t ever wanted something from me is Emma. All she wanted was food and a warm bed and love … and my huge cock rammed up her pussy.
Jesus Christ, I’m never going to get over this woman. What do I do now?
15
Emma
With only my broken heart to keep me company, I start the long trudge home. Every step is torture. I want to turn around and run back to Dane’s cabin and throw myself in his arms.
I want to remind him of the powerful connection between us. I want him to know how bad I need him in my life.
But then I remember that he doesn’t want me, and the realization hurts so terribly that I can’t breathe. For what feels like hours, I stand in the woods, crying and unable to move.
How could Dane be so cruel? How could he say that what happened between us had been nothing but a fling? How did it come to this?
Deep down, I know it’s because I don’t deserve to be loved. I’m a nobody. I’m a fat girl with mediocre grades and a meek personality. There’s nothing about me that stands out. Dane would be able to replace me in a heartbeat if he wanted.
He made me feel so special, though. That’s what kills me now. Remembering how Dane treated me with kindness and love hurts most of all. I thought that I was breaking down the barriers between us and really getting to know him, but I was wrong. The whole time, Dane didn’t care about me.
Heck, he was probably just using me for sex. And when the fog of lust cleared from those gorgeous eyes of his, he saw me for who I really am.
A complete and utter disappointment. The kind of girl who lets everyone down.
God, I wish I could just run away and live alone forever. For the first time, I really understand why Dane wanted to be alone and away from society.
I can’t go back to my normal life. And I’m certainly not going to Trim Acres, either. But I can’t stay out in the middle of the woods. It’s freezing cold out here and I won’t last long. Setting my mouth in a line of grim determination, I decide to go home and grab a few more things, then set off for … wherever.
The Greyhound station seems like a good idea. I can catch a bus out of here to the first big city that sounds good. Then, maybe, I can establish some kind of new life for myself.
But I know that no matter what I do, I’m never going to be able to forget about Dane and the utter heartbreak I feel.
By the time I’m back at my parents’ house, the sky is streaked with the first sign of dawn. My heart is heavy in my chest, and I wish that I could lie down and sleep for a thousand years. I can’t do that, though. Or rather, I won’t. Not anymore.
I’ve spent my life being passive, and it’s time for a change. It’s time for me to stand up for myself and take what I want. I’m not going to let other people dictate the terms of my life anymore.
Sneaking up to the front door, I gently push it open and step into the foyer. For a moment, I’m worried that I’ll catch Gina – this is around the time that she arrives at work in the mornings. I know that I couldn’t handle the look of disappointment on her face. If there was anyone in the world besides my mother and Lacey who wanted me to be happy, surely it would be Gina.
But thankfully, the house is dark and silent. I take a deep breath as I start up the stairs. Inside, my chest feels cold and hollow. I feel as if Dane reached into my chest and ripped out my heart. Just thinking about his name stings.
Before I can stop myself, I’m crying again. Damnit, Emma, pull yourself together, I tell myself as I push open the door to my room. Lock it up!
“Emma?”
My mother’s soft voice startles me, but I don’t jump. I simply no longer have the energy to be frightened. I turn around to see Ramona standing behind me with a concerned look on your face.
“After you said that you weren’t feeling well, I went to check on you,” Mom says softly. “And you weren’t in your bed. Then I went downstairs and saw that your father’s lunch for tomorrow was missing.”
All I can do in response is sniffle pathetically. Emotions are swirling through my chest and I want to confess everything, but I still feel like I can’t give Dane’s secret away.
After all, it’s not my story to tell.
But when my mother steps forward and pulls me into her arms for a comforting hug, I lose all remaining control. The tears begin to fall faster and faster until I’m sobbing into Mom’s shirt, soaking the expensive merino wool with my tears and gooey snot. Mom doesn’t complain, though. She holds me tightly and strokes my hair.