She dialed his number and got voicemail. Naturally. He’d be working. As always. She left the quickest, most inflectionless message she could then hung up and closed her eyes.
The phone rang half an hour later. It was still sitting in her lap.
She stared at the readout.Oh God.She so had no clue how to deal with stuff like this. Maybe she was better off with one-weekend stands. “Hey. You didn’t need to call me back,” she said in her most casual voice.
“I wanted to.” He sounded like a mixture of heaven and hell, wrapped in a thin chocolaty layer of sex-drenched sin. “I didn’t know if you’d realize I sent them.”
“Signing the card usually alleviates that problem.”
He paused. “It’s your day. I didn’t want to make it worse.”
“You didn’t.”It’s already pure hell.“Thank you. Daisies are my favorite flower.”
“I, ah, sort of guessed from the background on your phone.”
Her cheeks burned. Of course. “Good guess.”
“They suit you.” He let out a breath. “Why’d you quit?”
“Because I didn’t feel the same anymore,” she said, sure he wouldn’t understand what she meant.
She’d never see the bookstore the same way again. Easier to step away and start anew than watch what you loved turn into something you didn’t recognize.
“I know it doesn’t change anything but I’m sorry, Kelly. So sorry.”
“I’m okay,” she said hoarsely, praying repetition would make it true.
“Are you?”
“Yes.”I will be.
“What are you going to do now?”
A dozen flippant answers came to mind but she went with honesty. “Try to find something I love as much. If it exists.” She doubted there could be another something or someone, but she wasn’t giving up without a fight. Now that she’d tasted the good stuff, there was no way she was going back to just getting by.
No fucking way.
“I hope you do. Kelly…”
She drew her knees up to her chest and laid her forehead on them. Tears loomed and she didn’t know if she’d be able to hold them off if she stayed on the phone much longer. Which was stupid. This was her chance to grill him.
Did you really sleep with Diana? And if you didn’t, why did you make me think you did? Did you just not know how to let me down easily? So why did you send me flowers?
“I’ll let you go,” he said finally.
She shook her head, not ready to let him go. She’d never be ready. But he couldn’t see her and she couldn’t speak over the lump in her throat.
“Happy birthday, Kelly,” he said softly. Then he hung up.
For a long time, she didn’t move from that spot. In a sense, she had closure. He cared about her. In some small way, he cared. But that didn’t mean they were well-suited. At least she had amazing memories to cling to.
And weep over.
Eventually, she went downstairs to her mailbox. She didn’t pay much attention to the stack of bills, but the small box sent overnight mail caught her eye. No return address. Could be a birthday gift, she supposed, though she’d already had her fill of those.
She tore open the end of the package and shook the contents into her palm. At first she just stared. Then the tears she’d fought broke through, obscuring the object she gripped in her hand.
Her purple phone.