“How do I look?” She asks.
“Great, as always, now can we go?” Holden responds in his usual rude tone.
Bree rolls her eyes and waves her hand dismissively. “I wasn’t asking you. I was asking Kayleigh.”
“Oh, thanks. Doesn’t my opinion matter?” He scoffs.
“Not when you’d just tell me what you think I want to hear.” She quips back. I chuckle at the way she doesn’t stand down to him.
“Whatever.” He mumbles, standing up from my bed and walking over to the desk to retrieve his keys.
I look at Bree, who’s waiting for my answer. “He’s right. You look great.”
She smiles happily and turns to grab her purse. “You sure you don’t want to come with us?” She asks.
Holden and I both say no at the same time. Bree quickly turns around to give him what I can only assume is a death glare.
“What?!” He laughs. “You’ve asked her every time we go somewhere if she wants to come. The answer is always the same. Leave her to her nap or whatever it is she does in her spare time.”
“Well, duh.” She snaps at him. “You’re constantly rude. I wouldn’t want to go anywhere with you if I were her either.”
He rolls his eyes and turns toward the door. “I’ll meet you in the car.” I can faintly hear a yelled ‘Bye Kayleigh’ from down the hallway, but I don’t care to answer.
“Sorry about him.” Bree apologizes.
I shake my head. “It’s fine. I just don’t know what you see in him.”
She chuckles. “Of course, you don’t. You hate him.”
I shrug. She isn’t entirely wrong. “Well, he’s arrogant, rude, pompous, obnoxious, egotistical-”
“Okay, okay.” She laughs, effectively cutting me off. “I get it. His personality needs work. You have to admit though, he’s so hot.”
I wish I could see into that brain of hers and understand how his hideous personality doesn’t completely ruin his looks. She isn’t wrong, per say. Holden Rivers is well known as the hottest guy on campus. His bright green eyes, wavy brown hair, and washboard abs have girls basically throwing themselves at him almost every day. Not to mention, he plays hockey and is part of the most popular fraternity. Bree was shocked when he started dating her. Him being a junior and all, she assumed he wouldn’t even look at a freshman. I wasn’t surprised though. Bree is ridiculously pretty, and I envy her for it. If she wasn’t so nice, I’d probably hate her.
“Whatever you say, love.” I respond, effectively ending the conversation.
She grabs her things and hugs me goodbye, briefly informing me that she won’t be home tonight and not to wait up. Once the door closes behind her, I walk over and lock it, adding the chain as well to make sure no one gets in. I make my way back over to my bed and pull out the journal from underneath my mattress.
Breakfast – 90 cal. Banana
Lunch – 487 cal. 1 Cup Watermelon. 1 Turkey Wrap.
Dinner –
I add up my total and want to throw up when I see a number above 500. I thought I was doing so well today. Why do wraps have so many calories in them? They’re supposed to be healthy.
My stomach growls as I stare at the total. 577. I put the book down on the bed next to me and walk into the bathroom. As I approach the scale, I know I’m not going to feel good about the number staring back at me. I must have consumed over half my body mass in water today. Still, I step on to find out my current weight.
Just as I expected, the number on the scale makes me feel like crying. I knew I shouldn’t have let myself indulge last weekend. Now it’s going to take forever to get back to losing.
I return to my bed, quickly scribble ‘0 cal. Nothing’ into the dinner section, along with my weight underneath it, and toss the book back under my mattress. I throw on the heaviest sweatshirt I can find, and replace my jeans with baggy sweatpants. If I’m going to be fat, at least I should be comfortable.
I grab my headphones from my desk and climb into bed, placing the earbuds into my ears and hitting play on my phone. The music fills my head, effectively blocking out all the negative thoughts as I slip back under the thick blankets and drift asleep. You know what they say, ‘skip dinner, wake up thinner’.
Chapter Two
I’ve always loved the feeling of fall. The way the colors in the leaves change and the air becomes crisp. It’s not unbearably cold, but chilly enough to feel comfortable in pants and a sweatshirt. I don’t think there is any better season.