I shake my head. “No. No, of course not.”
“Everyone is blaming me. And I mean, why shouldn’t they? I should have never started you on those pills in the first place. You just looked so sad, and I was desperate for something to bring back the Tessa I remember.”
Honestly, it doesn’t surprise me everyone is placing the blame on him. They all think that last night was an accident. Like I just happened to take one too many or mix it with too much alcohol. If that were the case, a part of me would probably blame him too, but it’s not.
“Your heart was in the right place.”
He rubs the back of his neck and looks up at me. “So, you don’t hate me?”
“No.”
Maybe he can see it on my face, or feel it in the air, but the smile vanishes as soon as he realizes it.
“But you don’t love me either.”
There it is. The topic of conversation we were both trying to avoid.
I sigh. “Easton.”
He takes a step back, keeping his hand against his chest as if my rejection physically causes pain. “Don’t. Don’t say my name like you’re trying to let me down easy.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I love you, Tessa! I love you.”
I’m trying not to get upset, but the tears come anyway. “I love you, too.”
He pinches his lips together and looks down at the ground. After a few seconds, he nods.
“But you love him more.”
I blink up at the ceiling, trying so hard not to
break. Hurting Easton is the last thing I wanted to do, but I can’t force myself to feel something I don’t either. Last night was proof of that.
“I’m so sorry,” I cry. “I can’t help it. It’s him. It’s always going to be him.”
With a huff, he shakes his head and walks out, storming past Asher without so much as looking at him. I close my eyes and take a few breaths to calm down. After I’m done drying my face, I exhale.
“Okay,” I say without making eye contact. “You can stop pretending like you can’t hear anything out there.”
He drops his head and chuckles, pushing off the nurses’ station and walking toward me. The closer he gets, the more I want him next to me. When he stops at the door, I know he’s waiting for me to invite him in.
I roll my eyes. “Stop standing there like a creep and come sit next to me.”
Doing as I say, he slips into the seat Delaney previously occupied and slips his hand in mine. The contact alone is everything I’ve needed lately. Something to distract me. Something to ground me. Something to heal.
“How are you feeling?”
I crinkle my nose. “Like death.”
His eyebrows raise and he tilts his head to the side. “Well, I mean, that’s kinda fitting.”
Involuntary laughter bubbles out of me. “You did not just make a joke about this.”
“Well, someone had to.” He smiles, and in the way I needed to see, his dimples come out of hiding. “Besides, I think your sister is angry enough for everyone.”
Wincing at the thought of Delaney, I groan. “She’s really pissed, isn’t she?”