“I don’t want to. I only want you. Just let me love you—demons and all.”
For a second, his silence makes me think he actually might consider it, until every hope gets shot out of the sky with two simple words.
“I can’t.”
He steps away and the warmth goes with him, leaving me cold and alone. I turn around in hopes to find him still standing there, but he’s gone—along with the last part of me that was left unbroken.
24
KNOX
I sit on the bench, waiting for Jackson to come in and help me warm up. Grayson is fucking around and hitting the punching bag while I sit, staring at the D that’s been embedded into my skin. I knew it was a bad idea, but I didn’t think the universe would be so quick to fuck me for it.
Seeing her last night at that party tested my patience in more ways than I thought possible. When Zayn texted me, telling me she was there, I assumed he was playing some sick joke or something. What I didn’t expect was for her to go and deliberately flirt with someone right where I could see her. It was an effort to get a rise out of me, that much is clear. I know the faces she makes when she’s intrigued or turned on, and the way she looked at him wasn’t even close.
When Z and I watched her walk outside with him, he couldn’t contain his laughter. I, however, had a sudden urge to shove Christian’s face into the fucking pavement. He knows better than to go after what’s mine, and what Delaney and I had is no secret to anyone. Therefore, I make no apologies for nearly choking him out. One shithead down, a million and six to go.
“Vaughn, you ready?” Jackson’s voice booms into the room.
Standing up, I spare one last glance at the tattoo before he wraps both my hands. Usually, I dread coming here all the damn time. It’s one thing to fight because you have some shit you need to sort out. It’s another to be forced to do it. Tonight, however, I have plenty of pent-up aggression to take out on my undeserving opponent.
I CLIMB INTO THE ring, checking out the guy I’m up against this time. He’s big, almost twice my size—which is probably why more than half this place bet that he’s going to kick my ass, but you know what they say: the bigger they are, the harder they fall.
As soon as the bell sounds, he comes charging at me with full force. I jump out of the way, and when he bounces off the ropes, my fist connects with his face. I can feel his nose snapping against my knuckles. Blood immediately starts gushing, fueling his wrath.
The two of us move around, throwing our own punches while dodging the other’s. When he lands one good hit to my jaw, my fury only grows.
“Picture your opponent as someone you hate. Someone you can’t stand. Someone you want to hurt.”
I replay Jackson’s advice, feeling when it clicks. I close my eyes, which is a risky move on its own, and start pummeling hits into his face. In my mind, it’s not some husky-looking guy I’m fighting—it’s Cal. The one forcing me to be here. The reason I lost the only girl I’ve ever felt anything for. The girl who gave me hope. Nothing can stop me now.
Going into a blind rage, the next thing I know, I’m being pulled off the guy, who lies motionless on the ground. His blood covers every inch of my hands, along with most of my clothing. The crowd cheers in a sick and twisted way, but my eyes widen in horror as I realize he’s not breathing.
I jump out of the ring and push my way out of the arena, not even waiting for the ref to announce me as the winner. Grayson follows closely. Once we step into the bathroom, he locks the door behind us.
Turning on the shower, I don’t even get undressed before stepping into the stream. Gray helps take the tape off my hands and then leaves me alone to shower.
“I’ll put your clothes on the bench.”
He doesn’t wait for my answer, mainly because he knows I won’t be giving him one. He’s been through this with me enough to know how it goes. He’ll stay outside the door, making sure no one comes in, and wait for me to get done.
When I’m cleaned up and dressed in a fresh pair of sweats, I nod to Grayson, and the two of us head up to Cal’s office. It’s my least favorite part of the night. Having to watch the smug look on his face as he counts all the money he made—it makes me want to knock his teeth out.
“There’s my boy!” he shouts as soon as I step in the room. “How are you feeling? Looks like he got a couple good hits in there.”
“I’m fine.”
“Fine,” he repeats with a laugh. “You should be better than fine. You just took down someone twice your weight!”
I try to keep my cool, but it’s hard when all I want to do is get the fuck out of here. “Can I just get my money so I can go?”
“Not until you do the honors.” He grabs the Sharpie from his desk and hands it to me.
Okay, I lied before. This is my least favorite part of the night. I open the marker and walk over to the chart, feeling disgusted at the tallies next to everyone’s name. It’s a cruel and revolting way that Cal keeps track of all the lives taken in The Death Trap. Each one of the three tally marks next to my name make me feel like a monster.
My hand is like lead as it draws another mark with the others. Once I’m finished, I slam the Sharpie onto the desk and grab the money from Cal before running out the door. I barely make it to the garbage can before I’m hurling the contents of my stomach into it. Every life I take is another demon that haunts me. Another guarantee that I’m going to hell. And another reason Delaney is better off far as fuck away.
I WAKE IN THE morning, not realizing where I am until I take in the familiar room. A throbbing pain shoots through my head as I start to sit up. What the hell happened last night and how did I end up here? As if she could hear my thoughts, the door opens and Hailey walks through it.