He nods. “Yeah, it’s too bad he’s gone. Jackson could have made a champion out of that one.”
“Gone?” My brows furrow. “Where did he go?”
“Knox, he died. The blow you landed to his head snapped his neck.” His words come out with such carelessness that I almost don’t believe him. “That’s one of the risks you take when you get in the Death Ring.”
He keeps talking, but the ringing in my ears becomes so loud I can’t hear a word of it. He’s dead. He’s dead, and it’s my fault. I killed him. Within seconds, I’m lunging across the room to the garbage can and emptying the contents of my stomach into it.
I’m a murderer. A kid with his whole life ahead of him is gone now. I’m a fucking murderer.
I TOSS AND TURN in my bed, trying to get even a wink of sleep with no luck. Images of the kid I fought tonight plague my mind and refuse to go anywhere. He was a good fighter. Hell, he even seemed like someone I could be friends with. His refusal to quit was something I admired, but it doesn’t matter now. His death is on my hands.
Looking over at the clock, the numbers stare back at me.
3:17 a.m.
I give in and call the only person I can think of to make me feel even the slightest bit better right now. The phone rings four times before finally she answers.
“Knox?” she asks sleepily. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah,” I lie. “I just can’t sleep.”
“It’s three in the morning.”
Ugh, fuck. “You’re right. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have called. Go back to sleep.”
“No,” she replies in a rush. “It’s fine. I don’t mind.” I can hear her shuffle, probably getting comfortable again with the phone pressed to her ear. “So, what’s going on?”
“A few things on my mind. That’s all.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
I sigh, knowing I can’t. “No. I just need a distraction. What’d you do tonight?”
“I went and picked Savannah up from the airport. Apparently, Grayson was busy with something and couldn’t. The two of us grabbed dinner before going home.”
I hadn’t even considered the fact that Grayson constantly needs to lie to Savannah about what he’s doing when he’s training or at the ring. To be honest, his personal life is nev
er really something I took into account.
Is that what my life is going to come to? Lying to Delaney while I go potentially kill more people at night? The thought alone is enough to send a chill right through me. I never wanted to get into this mess, and now, all I want is to get the fuck out of it.
Delaney is calm, patient even. She stays on the phone with me despite sounding half asleep, talking about how Tessa got grounded once again because their dad saw a hickey on her neck, and how her sister Ainsley is going to be coming home in a few weeks for spring break. Listening to her voice, no matter what it’s saying, is like my own personal brand of Xanax. It soothes me, relieving the tension in my chest and making me feel like things are going to be okay.
We stay on the phone long after she stops talking, and I let the sound of her breathing lull me to sleep.
THE HARDEST PART OF dealing with something as serious as this is knowing that Zayn can read me like a book, yet still having to lie to him anyway. Since I got to school this morning, he’s watched me like a hawk. I think he first assumed it had something to do with Delaney, but the way I kissed her goodbye before we left today ruled that out. Still, he hasn’t straight up asked, and even when he does, he won’t get the truth.
“I’m really craving a milkshake,” he tells me. “You down?”
I nod. “Yeah, that sounds pretty good, actually.”
A part of me considers texting Delaney and asking if she wants to meet us there, but she was saying something about having a girl’s night with Savannah. Apparently, Laney wants to hear all about her trip to New York so she can decide what college she wants to go to. While a part of me is seriously jealous and wants her with me at all times, I don’t want to be overbearing.
Zayn and I head out, only to find a man in a very expensive looking suit standing at the curb. There’s something familiar about him that I just can’t put my finger on, but the way he presents himself screams power. I walk up to him hesitantly, looking him over for any visible weapons.
“Can I help you?”
He takes off his sunglasses. “Are you Knox?”